Source
r/OCPoetry•
Trav1199

Bony Fingers

Feedback Received!
Bony fingers reach for the sky 
Trying to grow before they die.
They attempt to escape their mortality
But life possesses a certain duality
For living always comes to an end
Their straight appendages start to bend.

The elements wear on their smooth pores
While the skeletal hand is ever peaceful.
The storms and weather shake it to it's core,
It's elegance and stature always graceful.
While it silently watches through blind eyes,
It speaks with a mouth that never lies.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/5c9x7j/the_mind/d9vedu5/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/5ccfo7/not_only/d9ve74r/

Posted Nov 11, 2016, 4:04 AM UTC

23
lethalshot24•

Honestly I love the line "Their straight appendages start to bend", the word appendages is amazing, i think the second stanza needs a bit of work, particularly the last two lines, they just don't seem powerful enough.

3
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
Trav1199OP•

Thanks, I agree about the second part tho, I wrote it in a bit of a hurry.

1
134340Goat•

Very nice, consistent rhyme scheme and flavourful rhythm. Only constructive criticism to offer - "its" for possessive form of "it", not "it's" (contraction of "it is")

2