This is my 3rd rendition of this poem: A hymn for the marooned

I like the direction this poem takes.
Going from hopelessness to a sense of complacency that this is where the sailor is and he is comfortable with waiting for a better future

My only criticism is that the [his consciousness] line seems out of place with the way it is written. It definitely adds to the poem but I feel you could have introduced the idea that "The inmates" refers to his consciousness a little more fluidly.

I love the flow of this poem. To me it sounds like I should be reading louder as you use more syllables, which I find interesting and fun to read to, as well as going along with the meaning each section. Like when it's hopeful there are few syllables and when it's depressing there are more. Great piece.

In the brackets, is that a part of the poem or an explanation? My only concern is that you did not let your words do the talking if it is the latter.