Very sweet. When I read "tipped joy," I think of a vase being knocked over, spilling water everywhere, but, like, joyfully.

Wasn't quite sure what the "walls of love" means: walls seem to metaphorically contrast with love rather than mesh, particularly when we're behind them.

Describing her eyes as vacuums is a little confusing. I think you're trying to say that she looks up to you and gathers memories of you as a role model, in the sense of a vacuum cleaner, but my first impression was that of emptiness.

That said, nice work. Quite touching.

Thank you both for taking the time to share amazing feedback and critique!! I just gave this link to my lil' sister as well. There's 19 years separating us. I've often been overly protective of her as my only sibling. I wrote this well over a decade ago and with your help I hope it will mature into a wonderful dedication. 

I've taken notes of ALL the suggestions and critique. Thanks again!! I'm going to make changes and will update the original poem tonight to show the changes. 



Overall very solid; I just want to offer a few small nitpicks about bits that were just a bit too corny or 'over-poetic'--that is, parts where I feel you're trying too hard to 'be a poet' and not hard enough to write genuine poetry. Most of this poem really is quite genuine, and I think just by changing this small stuff, you can improve it in a very meaningful way:

*  as the previous commenter here said, nix "walls of love". The metaphor just doesn't cohere, and you don't provide us with enough information or context to make it cohere. You can try to replace it with something else, but I think you'll be fine just cutting it out.
*  I'd drop "cuddly" from "cuddly giggles". Both of these words are aggressively cute, and by attaching them to one another, you're losing the sense of heartfelt affection you're going for by using language that is too saccharine to feel genuine.
* I actually like the "vacuums" bit--in addition to furthering the motifs of domestic life, it also adds a bit of a

This is really sweet. Overall a very genuine poem.

Not sure what you are meaning by walls of love. This imagery is also at odds with describing eyes as vacuums. 

Very much enjoyed the reference to trying but failing to lead. Also enjoyed the little toes portion, makes it concrete and distinct. 