I wrote this because of a dream I had where I mined on a planet for many years.  Every day I hated the never ending sunshine.  Then suddenly the company I worked for transferred me to another planet.  The next few days I realized I never saw the beauty until now.  It was too late to appreciate the double sunsets because when I had the time I was too negative to see anything other than anger.  I wanted to express the feeling of missing and hating something you never really knew

The flow is nice, and I'm assuming you meant to have line breaks where the capital letters are so I read it as if you did. First, contending" kind of sounds like you shoehorned in a rhyme for "ending," as it doesn't seem to really fit the flow. My question is this: why did you write this poem? If it's to express an emotion or an appreciation or some dream of yours, I really can't tell. The words are there but they don't seem to be saying much, it isn't as thought-provoking as if you were writing about something more personal. 

Your poem has been removed due to violation of Rule 4 of this subreddit.  If you edit the work to include the required feedback links, please message either myself or the mod team to get it reapproved.  If you do not wish to give feedback, yet want to have your work seen, post in the Sharethread.


Double pain, double beauty