r/NHLHUT•9 yr. ago

(WPR #6) Bure Me at Wounded Knee (LGD Pavel Bure Review

Discussion

Check out Pavel Bure below!

Tested on the 1st Line/1st PP

Shanahan/Linden/Bure (1st Line)

Shanahan/Linden/Bure (1st PP)

Skating: To Infinity And Beyond/10: Pavel Bure is the son of Buzz Lightyear, a Russian Cosmonaut, and a goddamn rocket ship. If you just lightly caress the left stick the Russian Rocket is already on a breakaway before you even realize what just happened, he truly is on another level. It’s like someone took a Bugatti Veyron, did some terrible made up Fast and the Furious shit to it, AND THEN put a rocket on top. That’s how fast Bure is. Did I mention that Bure is really fucking fast? With Acceleration (95) and Speed (95) Bure will outskate everyone and anyone. The guy is consistently gone faster than my happiness after finishing a work project, and then realizing there’s infinity more left to do. Bure’s Offensive Awareness (95) means he’s always in the right place, Pizza Planet, at the right time, dinner time. With Agility (95) this squirrelly motherfucker just dances his way around the ice like its nothing, at Mach 10, Warp Drive, and Ludicrous Speeds no less. Pavel Bure truly has The Right Stuff. His Endurance (95) lets him go for a hot minute before Bure needs to hit the bench. I’m pretty sure Bure has an avian bone structure though, because even with Balance (94) and Strength (90) the slightest updraft can knock this guy over. Plus bird bones explain the whole career ending knee injury thing. It’s a singular gripe, and really in order to hit Bure, you have to catch him first. I don’t think even Chriiiiiis Haaaaansen could do that… so why don’t your defensemen just take a seat right over there?

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Shooting 9/10: Bure is basically Ronald Reagan’s wet dream, a rocket ship that shoots lasers, except that he’s Russian and not American, so he’s more like Reagan’s brown dream. WSA (95) and WSP (95) means that if you suck at aiming your shots, you won’t score with Bure, because Bure shoots exactly wherever you aim, so it’s not Bure’s fault, YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU MONSTER. Fun fact that I just made up, Bure’s grandfather is none other than Vasilli Zaitsev, who is none other than Jude Law. If there’s an Enemy At The Gates of your opponents goalmouth, Bure will happily snipe his way past as he bangs the maid, Jude would be so proud. (The things a person picks up at the dentist by the way. My dentist had an US Weekly from 2005 and this was the cover story. You bet you’re ass I’m reading that over a teeth brushing manual.) What’s even more impressive is the speed at which his Wrist Shot gets released. It’s like anything that Bure touches gets Rocket Power put into it, and he can shoot through traffic as calmly as Tito can give nonsensical wisdom. SSA (91) and SSP (91) are also great, but they most definitely aren’t the highlight here. His One Timer is as godly as his Wrist Shot, and his regular Slap Shot is great, but it’s by no means the best I’ve ever used. Shoot away with Bure in all situations.

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Hands 8.5/10: It’s confusing to me how someone who spends all of his time at what I would assume is the same number MPH as Jimmy Neutron’s IQ level, can manage to have such soft hands. Bure moves around with the puck like its some sort of weird Russian Yo-Yo. Deking (95), Hand-Eye (95), and Puck Control (95) allow Bure to just do whatever he feels like doing when he has the puck. Top Speed, Stride, or Glide speeds, Bure’s deking is magnetic. Passing (89) feels more around the 86 realm in reality. His passing is slower than you’d expect and sometimes Bure just doesn’t hit wide-open targets, it’s like his hands are too silky and slippery, so he just kinda does whatever. In the long run though Bure’s really the guy you give the puck to, not get the puck from.

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Checking: Laughable/10: What? You’re Serious? You want me to talk about this? Come on. The guy most likely actually has a bird’s skeletal structure. I’m pretty sure if he gets hit hard enough in a pillow fight his bones will break, causing a spark, which will ignite the rocket fuel he calls blood, and blow up the whole house. You can hit with him if you want, and I can pretend that I’m actually funny and not just annoying you all, but, getting blood from a stone synonym and such. Aggressiveness (84), Body Checking (83), Durability (82), means the Bure is basically Bolt from that shitty animated puppy movie, really fast and easy to hurt with no impact on anyone at all. And just like that joke, his hitting is weak.

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Defense 7/10: This is Bure’s pleasant surprise category. When it comes to defense he’s no rocket wizard, but he’s a lot better than you’d think he’d be. Defensive Awareness (88) has him in the right place at the right time, always ready to defend Mother Russia. I’ve heard if you’ve got that lose cannon cop Bobrovsky in net you get a +3 Defend Stalingrad synergy. Blocking (86) isn’t great, the number looks nice, but Bure’s a small player so he doesn’t get in the way of much. Stick Checking (84) is much better than the rating suggests, and it really threw me through a loop. Bure is phenomenal on the forecheck at digging out loose pucks and regaining possession from other players, seriously he’s great at it. Let him dig a puck out along the right side boards, hold left on the left stick, push up on the right stick, goal, it’s pretty gross actually. His Discipline (80) and Poise (94) seem to balance out or something, because he had a total of 4 penalty minutes for me.

Synergies: Offensive Juggernaut X2/ Speedster X2

Offensive Juggernaut X2: I refuse to spend any more of my time talking about this synergy.

Speedster X2: +2 bonus to Acceleration, Speed, and Agility. It’s basically wasted on one of the fastest cards in the game. Needs 4 points to activate so Bure gets you half way there. I wasn’t joking, this card is basically a rocket ship on a rocket ship.

Overview: Pavel Bure is the kid who actually makes it through the entirety of the Legends of the Hidden Temple’s Temple Run final challenge. He wins those sick roller blades, that useless middle item, and the all expenses paid vacation to Orlando, Florida, where said kid probably already lives. That’s how fast and crafty Pavel Bure is. With 5 on the market currently and the LPA being 370K, I’d say he’s still worth it. A truly one of a kind player who is synonymous with top tier teams every year. My only issue is that he’s apparently so fast that he left behind all of the good synergies, but I suppose if they gave him a team synergy you’d have to sell yourself to be able to afford a Pavel Bure card. If you can afford him, get him, if there’s one card you want to spend your entire NHL 17 striving for, Bure is a great choice.

10 GP

6 Goals

1 Assist

7 Points

(All games were played against a similarly skilled friend who is helping me test out cards.)

Introducing Lowest Price Available (LPA) where I scour the marketplace for the lowest available cost (Buy Now) on a certain player for you, so you don’t have to. Unfortunately these prices will be based on when I searched (usually an hour or so before I release the review) and are XBONE dependent. I’d love to be able to work out a way to add in the PS4 Prices though. Patent Pending.

Comparable Players

On the Cheap

Mikkel Boedker (LPA 600): Speed (92) Acceleration (92) WSP (87) WSA (87) and a Left Handed RW make Boedker basically a cheap Danish clone of Bure.
Marian Gaborik (LPA 600): Speed (92) Acceleration (90) WSP (90) WSA (89) makes this ex USSR state member a slightly better shooter, has always been one of the premier “cheap fast guys”. He also has a TOTW available for a +1 ratings boost (LPA 27k).
Alexander Radulov (LPA 750): Speed (89) Acceleration (90) makes him the slowest out of the trio and WSP (87) WSA (89) puts his shooting right in between the two, but he’s an actual Russian, so that’s something I guess?

Mid Range

Johnny Gaudreau (LPA 29.6K): Speed (93) Acceleration (92) WSP (88) WSA (90) Deking (95) Hand-Eye (92) Passing (92) Puck Control (92) means you have a speedy little Bure lite that has the hands to match. Folds like that paper boat from the beginning of IT though at the slightest sense of danger. He also has a TOTW available for a +1 ratings boost (LPA 72.5k). A MOV edition is available as well.
Taylor Hall (LPA 64K): Speed (93) Acceleration (93) WSP (89) WSA (90) and hands categories all 90 (Passing is 89) means you should give Hall a pretty good look, while the hands aren’t as great, he’s a lot more solid than Johnny Hockey. A MOV edition is available as well
Artemi Panarin (LPA 25K ): Speed (89) Acceleration (90) WSP (87) WSA (87) and hands categories all 90 (Puck Control is 89) makes Panini another option, though not as solid as the other two. Again, he’s Russian, so at least you can say you have a Russian toy Rocket. A MOV edition is available as well

High Tier

Bobby Hull (LPA 139K): Speed (94) Acceleration (94) WSP (94) WSA (94) SSP (94) SSA (94) makes Hull a superb offensive card. You can’t go wrong for the price, but it’s up to you if you want this wife-beating piece of shit on your team or not.
Vladimir Tarasenko (LPA 250K): Speed (93) Acceleration (93) WSP (91) WSA (94) SSP (91) SSA (92) and hands categories at 94 (passing is 93) make Tarasenko the true air to Bure’s throne (not including Ovechkin because he’s his own legacy). This Russian Mini SCUD can do it all. He has a WCOH +1 (LPA 660k, only one on the market), a +2 TOTW (LPA 500k, only one on the market) and a MOV that will cost you your soul.
Patrick Kane (LPA 265K): Speed (92) Acceleration (94) WSP (93) WSA (96) and Hands categories 95 or above makes Patrick Kane one of the best base cards in the game, people swear by him and having used him myself, I can see why. He’s small though, so if that’s not your game take a pass. Just keep him away from cab drivers and your uglier daughters, allegedly. Kane has a TOTW +1 (LPA 532k) and a MOV (LPA 900K, good luck).

~~POTG Brad Marchand~~

~~Keith Tkachuk~~

~~Trevor Linden~~

~~Pat Lafontaine~~

~~Bobby Nystrom~~

~~Ryan Smyth~~

~~Pavel Bure~~

I know u/oparz just did a Bure review like a week ago (props to them for making a player review, we need more) but I’ve been dying to review this card since I started doing these, so I just went for it. Any player is again open for review next week. Next Review will be out Friday/Saturday by 10PM EST.

Posted Dec 2, 2016, 2:31 PM UTC · edited

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