[130] THE MAN WHO GAVE BIRTH TO A PANDA
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Posted Dec 11, 2016, 8:50 PM UTC · edited
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Posted Dec 11, 2016, 8:50 PM UTC · edited
Your post has been marked as a leech post because you have not left a high-effort critique on a piece of at least 130 words in length or longer. Please read our sidebar, new user post (the stickied post), or our FAQ if you have questions about what constitutes a high-effort critique.
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I left a low effort critique on a 2,000+ writing.
Should even out. Your system is flawed.
It works great for us and we're happy with the system.
There are plenty of shorter-length pieces on RDR's front page for you to critique with high effort; I think this one is the closest in length to your piece.
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I liked the idea behind this piece.
This sets the scene as an opening sentence. I'd prefer if it would start in a stronger way. Also, the fact that it is his mother speaking makes me think the narrator is a kid.
We're almost getting into the realm of horror in the next paragraph. Instead of getting the wonders of child birth explained to us, we are left with a fairly graphic image.
I like the idea being expressed but I feel like it could be said in a better way. "He would be included only as a footnote for historians" or "his only sentence in the history books"
I don't think this author realizes panda babies are two ounces. :\
Two... ounces. I don't think the birth will be that difficult.
Gee thanks, now I'm looking up the dynamics of Panda procreation.
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It'll now have 100% more Panda Porn.