sort of regretting semi-coming out

hullo! 21 year old guy from Australia here

been out to my friends for a year or two now, but whenever I come back to my home city and stay with my parents I feel shitty because I suddenly have to think about everything I do, because I'm not out to them or anyone else in my family.

they're religious and I don't really know what their reaction would be but I decided that enough was enough and I would just come out to them.

but now it's all sort of a mess (for an unexpected reason)

i first decided I'd tell my cousins to I guess add pressure to me to come out. I have three close cousins here that I told:

1. first one was super supportive and assured me that things w my parents would be good

2. second one didn't mind

3. third cousin was iffy, she said she can't fully accept it because of how she was brought up (religion etc)

I was going to tell my family the same night I told my cousins but I couldn't find the courage to do so.

since then cousins 1 and 3 have been really weird and pressuring me ("it's awkward that we know and your parents don't" and just giving me weird vibes and awkwardness)

we're on a family holiday overseas now to the country my parents were born in so its not really appropriate to tell them here imo but I just feel that I can't

and at the same time I just feel so distant and closed off and weird like I'm acting weird, feeling like I'm going to ruin this holiday because my mind is so preoccupied.

I just want everything to go back to normal :/