What EU countries offers citizenship the quickest (by ANY means) to legal residents (spouses of EU/EEA citizens)?

I am a British citizen and this means I can invite my non-EU citizen wife to any of the European countries. This means that I can circumvent requirements in my own country (for salary and other requirements) but can invite her freely to another country in the Schengen, and even Ireland. I do not want to live in the UK

We were considering France, she could get her Masters' degree there in two years, but this means I have to base my life in France (I don't want to learn the French language) and do practically nothing. Luxembourg was an option, because it promised "citizenship to anyone who serves in the army for a year", and women have it a lot easier. Unfortunately, Lux also wants 3 years residency prior to serving, so that's out of the window.

I thought that if I were to go to (for example Spain) (which gives citizenship to people married to Spanish citizens in 2 years), I could give my beloved citizenship of Spain (as I would be treated as a local citizen, due to EU laws). Unfortunately, she would just be a permanent resident, and would need to wait 10 years like any other immigrant with no relationship with a Spaniard.

So, what are her options? I can move to another European country (but not France, I run an online business and taxes would kill me) and spend a maximum of 2/3 years there. What are my options?