Happy New Year SD!

Happy New Year, friends. I've been working a bit of overtime and being careful to keep an eye on myself a bit so I keep my head down until now. But I keep lurking and reading posts too.

Things going ok. I accidentally had something with alcohol in it at Christmas but i'm not counting that (honestly, I thought the fruit salad would be safe. Yikes.) It was upsetting but accidental. So, onwards and upwards.

Learned a lot over 2016. A lot of it sucked big time and sometimes hurt like shit, but good things happened too. And I wanted to post something since I see so many people starting out right now. It's great to see you here. The point of this wall of text is I think to offer some encouragement. Because it was seeing other people sharing when I turned up here (yet again ) that really helped me.

This time last year I was unemployed, overweight, paranoid, unstable and crippled by anxiety and bag of issues. Drinking maybe a half of spirits or more most days and being alive but not really living. I'd lost count how many times I tried to quit before. Hiding from all my problems and watching them get worse. Apathy, or kidding myself. Then in the spring, grief came knocking close and I got a real wake up call about how short life can be. And so I got back on the horse.

So, after 250 days and change.... what?

-Got myself a steady job- shitty, sure, but working my way out of debt while looking for a long term opportunity. Not pissing what money I get away on drink is certainly a big help :) Never been actually late or had a sick day so far- laughable if I was still drinking.

-Lost weight, though don't know exactly how much. 2 clothes sizes down and I look a lot different; my whole appearance improved. My body doesn't hurt all the time like before. Even old injuries hurt less. So I feel a lot better about myself physically. I actually sleep a lot more.

-Mental health is improving. A long upward battle sure, but in a better place than I have been in years I think. Setting little challenges to work on my issues. I've even been making eye contact with people at work (sounds stupid maybe, but we all have our quirks.) Good days and bad days, but I can accept myself and make the best of it.

-With clear head and new perspective, relationships are a lot better. I handle situations better because I can recognise when the anxiety etc are taking over or i'm being paranoid/irrational. Even when bad things happen, and it's hard, i'm not making it worse unnecessarily. And it's amazing the little chances in everyday life to help other people in small ways.

-More free time than I thought possible, even with working. I don't lose time lying around hungover or hiding. So I actually focus on hobbies, learning, doing. And sometimes, I just sit, and do nothing- and enjoy it. At the start, strangely, suddenly it felt like life was suddenly in HD. Sometimes it still feels like that. I run outside and train for the marathon. I'm learning to be beekeeper. Playing music, reading things I never finished. Playing with my dogs. Learning a language. Doing things with friends when I feel like it, staying home when I don't.

I'm not perfect, my life isn't perfect and that is 100% ok. Because as long as i'm not drinking, I can make the most of it. 100 times better than it used to be.

Your situation might be similar or completely different. But whatever it is, you're here and obviously thinking about quitting, giving it a go. Good. I really encourage you. It's not easy and sometimes it will be unpleasant, but stick with it. Because every so often, it'll dawn on you again it's so worth it. No matter how bad things seem, they can always get better.

That's all folks, i'll get off my soap box and stop blethering. Still can't cope with going to meetings and sharing much like that, so you lot get to hear it instead. Congratulations ;)

I would say thanks very much everyone here for the encouragement because I honest to gods never thought I could do this but SD helps me prove myself wrong.

Here's a song for the end, because really like this song now and it feels appropriate. Keep up the good work guys x

Pickle

(([Keep Haulin' Boys](https://youtu.be/MqiyD7emKL0\))