Alternatives to debit consolidation aren't working

I stumbled across this subreddit recently and it just so happens I am in a tough spot right now. We had some family medical tragedies and then personal financial hardship came about completely draining anything I had saved. I make a good living but the hits keep coming and I can never catch up so I am in this vicious cycle. My credit is taking a dive and no matter what I do

My wife wanted to do National Debt Relief where they tell you to stop paying on your cards and then the credit card companies will start dealing with them. I didn't like that idea like many people on this subreddit.

As I have read so many suggestions on here, I called the major credit card companies (BofA, AMEX, Chase) that I have cards with and tried to see we can do. I wanted to do a plan where I could pay less than my minimums now and then resume paying like normal. Their "programs" were either to tack on an extra amount to my minimum that I am already struggling with to get me current, close the account and treat it like a loan, or work with a non-profit they use that would help.

Are these really my only options? Are there some magic words I should be using instead?