We all know where this road goes...

So last night I went to my first AA meeting in six years last night, sweaty, shifty, nervous, clutching my water bottle and some mints. Man, do I cane the mints when I don't drink, missing that sugar. I always feel like the smallest kid in a school class when the stories start, the bottle of vodka a day for 30 years, the 3 hospitalisations a year, the crashes, the damage the health issues, all of it. And the first thing that always surfaces is that I should not be here, this is for REAL ALCOHOLICS, not me, not me with my small issues and my small disasters, my minor hangovers.

But by the end of the meeting though I have the realisation of it being one story, one timeline we all share. I don't need to go back and drink for 30 more years and destroy everything good in my life and body to prove I have a problem and I belong in this group, in my heart I know.

And knowing where this old road ALWAYS goes, back to things I never want to experience again, and onto other things, worse things and for a second almost makes it a no brainer.

So I choose today the road I don't know containing hope, change and the infinite possibilities of life and I choose not to drink today.