r/ADHD•
thebananaparadox

Feeling Guilty About Not Being Productive Enough

I made a similar post on r/anxiety but I wanted to add some more for this subreddit.

I'm a college student and also work around 25 hours a week. I don't often have days where I don't have either work or class and I usually have both, so days off are weird for me. I've noticed that on these days, even when I spend part of them catching up on chores or studying, I feel really guilty that I'm not doing more. That those hours I spent wasting time on the internet or watching Netflix or reading could be spent more productively. I feel like I should be picking up a shift or doing more housework or volunteering or getting a second job for more hours. Logically I know that people need time off to rest, but it's hard to relax when I'm thinking of all of the things I could be doing instead. I start thinking that I don't really deserve this time off because I'm not using it for anything.

I'm wondering if anyone else experiences something similar. I kind of think it comes from the fact that I was told I was lazy a lot growing up. My mom always got upset with me when I'd have a hard time completing my homework or chores or if I'd sleep in and not do much on the weekends. My teachers told me I was smart and could be really successful if I just applied myself, when I was working as hard as I could. Looking back it's really frustrating because my mom knew I had ADHD (I had two different evals as a kid) but instead of getting me some kind of treatment for it, she just told me I needed to work harder and shamed me for not being "normal".

TL;DR: I grew up being told I wasn't working hard enough and now I feel guilty when I'm not being productive.

Posted Jan 5, 2017, 11:12 PM UTC

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