There it is!

ME: Do you see HELP above or below your address bar?

CALLER: No.

ME: Could you press the ALT and V keys at the same time?

CALLER: Yes. No HELP.

ME: OK, do you see FILE?

CALLER: Yes.

ME: HELP should be to the right of that.

CALLER: There is no HELP.

ME: K, after FILE, what does it say?

CALLER: VIEW, FAVORITES, TOOLS, HELP. OH! There it is!