At a complete loss.

My girlfriend of 13 months broke up with me yesterday morning. We met within the first few days of college, we instantly fell in love and spent every moment possible together. We had fantastic sex, we had complete trust in each other, we had the absolute best chemistry together.

Being away for the summer was hard, but we were moving into the same house starting in September.

Everything was going great until November when I went on vacation for 10 days, and her friends came for the last few days I was gone, they went out and drank and had fun (complete trust that she wouldn't go out to fuck around or anything, she isn't like that at all) then when I get back she started acting differently. She seems standoffish, the sex stopped and it felt like she didn't even want to be around me.

I asked her one night why she was acting different, and she told me that she has never just been on her own and doing her own thing. I understood and we had a few week break to see how it would go. After the break we talked and everything felt back to normal again.

Until I went to see my family for Christmas for 10 days, when I was there we talked like normal and nothing seemed off at all, even sending each other sexy texts and what she was going to do to me when I got there, and I know she was excited to see me. She even said to me that she thought the term boyfriend was too light because she loved me so much (much more detailed that that but that's the jist of it) when I got back from vacation, I drove two and a half hours to her home.

When I got there it didn't seem like she was excited at all. We went out for new years and had a great time, but I could tell something was off. Went a day or two more and I asked her again what was going on and that was when she told me that she still feels that she needs to be selfish and figure out what she wants to do and work on herself, so if in the future we meet again, she will be the best possible version of herself for me.

We talked everything out, we both still love each other unconditionally, it was just a bad case of right person, wrong time. We both know we can go to each other if we need anything at all. We both have each others full support. We live in the same house for 4 more months, separate rooms. Knowing that we still love each other so much just makes getting over her so much harder. I know that I can't still love her but not be with her because that is just torture.

But I don't want to get over her because I love her more than anything and I want to have a future together, we both do. It's just the uncertainty of if and when that will happen. I'm terrified of finding someone else I want to be with more and I'm terrified that she will find someone who she wants to be with more. It's going to be an extremely hard few months. I know this is long, but thank you for taking the time to read it.