For the first time in 17 years, I can say no

Hey all,

If you don't get through my entire post, let me state the most important thing right now: your ego is the reason you're addicted. Your ego (caring too much about what others think about you, need for validation, gratification, comfort, etc) is not the real you, but it controls you because you think that's the real you. If you learn not to give in to your ego, you'll finally get down to the reason you started fapping in the first place, find an amazing reserve of willpower not to fap, you'll find your true self.

Let me introduce myself: like many of you, I got hooked on PMO around the age of 10-11. Once I stumbled on it, I would rush home so that I could watch it before anybody else got home, and I would stay up late to watch while everybody else was asleep. Also like many of you, I experienced abandonment, abuse, and trauma at an early age, which predisposed me to some form addiction

Anyway, I started getting serious about stopping PMO during college - that's when I first realized I was addicted. My longest streak was 5 months cold turkey. And yes, you do get superpowers. However, I didn't have the knowledge to sustain my sobriety. So eventually, once things got too stressful, I returned to what I knew best. I haven't been able to last more than two weeks since... That was 5 years ago. I'm 27 now btw. Don't waste your life fapping...

So where does ego fit in? According to "The False Center" - Osho, ego is a need for social approval. This need is embedded in us when we're children and is a stage we all have to go through on the path to self actualization. Children form their perception of themselves based on how others treat them. If you grew up with lots of love and validation, you're likely to self actualize and not seek those things as an adult. Basically, you internalize the message "I'm okay" and eventually let go of your ego (need for validation) and operate as your true self (actualization) .

However, if you experienced abandonment, abuse, and trauma as a child, you never get to the point where you operate as your true self. You never let go of your ego. As a matter of fact, you're predisposed to develop an unhealthy ego that seeks validation as an adult. This is where PMO comes in because with PMO, you get all the validation you want. However, the problem is that even if you validate your ego for those few brief seconds or hours, you'll never be satisfied because your ego (neediness) isn't the real you.

Remember, your ego is seeking validation (confirmation that you're fundamentally okay as a person) but your ego uses the same strategies it did when you were a child to get that validation. Children want to be held, they want to feel wanted, they want that dopamine releas we all get when we receive affection. Don't you get the same things from PMO. The worst part is You've been living out of your ego for so long that you believe that's the real you - that person who can't control himself, who's lazy as fuck, who is so worried about other's approval that it paralyzes him socially... You believe that's you but it's not. There's a grounded, confident, productive person underneath your ego. Once you realize that's not the real you, once you understand what ego really is and how it works, you fundamentally weaken your ego and you're on your way to transcending it.

Basically what I'm saying is this: there are two ways to stop PMO, however, they both require you to transcend your ego. The first way is to do the standard 3 months no PMO. What I want you to understand is that you're not training yourself to resist porn, you're training yourself not too give into your ego. Think about it... Everybody whose successfully gone 90 days eventually gets to the point where they realize that their unresolved childhood issues were the cause of their addiction and their urges are not their real personality.

The second way (what I'm currently doing) is a bit more indirect. It requires you to find ways to weaken and transcend your ego bit not focus exclusively on PMO... Either way, the more you transcend your ego... The less you'll need porn. Personally, once I started doing my ego transcendence work, it took me 2 weeks to notice that I was casually resisting the urge to fap.

I wish I could explain ego better but I can tell you all that for the first time in 17 years, I have the power to resist PMO. Every time I get an urge, I realize it's just my ego seeking validation, or escape. I know that's not the real me, it's just a childish stage that I haven't overcome yet. This knowledge makes it so much easier to resist temptation. Also, by focusing on ego instead of PMO, I'm dealing with many of my core issues that caused me to become addicted in the first place.

I recommend you read The False Center by Osho... That's the best explanation of ego that I've come across. I also recommend watching YouTube videos on transcending ego and connecting with your true self. The final thing I'll say is that the superpowers are real... However, their not some reward you get for avoiding PMO... They're the real you that's been there all along.