Ask me any Skyrim question and after I answer, edit your question to make me look stupid.
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Posted Feb 7, 2017, 2:12 PM UTC · edited
174157
Which NPC from any elder scrolls game would you most want to spend an intimate night with, IRL
134
Seekers, those tentacles seem to be everywhere!
120
Well personally I'm a Molag Bal guy myself, but Seekers are pretty cool too.
3
He just doesn't have the reach a seeker has.
3
How many arms do you have?
88
I think there are two, but I haven't looked too closely.
107
Well to be fair you never said you'd have the right answer, or even a specific one.
25
I feel it would ruin it a bit if I went and looked at UESP for the right answer.
25
Ah UESP. How I need a new Elder Scrolls game to warrant visiting you on the regular again.
18
Do you support the Nazis?
88
No. But if they where nicer, maybe.
119
unusual response
47
A lot of them are xenophobic. But if they could just accept the other races maybe I could agree with their ideals. Unlike how they just showed all the black people to one corner of their city.
45
haha, nicely done
25
So... Which races make for your favorite sex slaves?
85
Argonian, they take less effort to maintain. Just hose them down once in a while.
And they are just as god as khajiit at keeping rats out of my basement.
96
What's your opinion about modding Skyrim?
68
It looked really nice from a distance, but up close it started to fall apart.
83
you seem to have a good mod for LOD but lack some 2k textures
12
I needed the Vram for ...other textures.
16
Mister, can you spare a coin? My daddy went away to fight and now I'm hungry all the time...
59
I think he basically threw himself into the space between the planes of Aetherius. For why? He just wanted to get the Dwemer back in order to ask for their legendary mushroom stew recipe.
60
I mean it is sad, that he values a stew over you.
45
He went away to fight for what's right! And now everyone's saying he's never coming back and I'm always hungry and you're just being mean!
8
Hey kid, ever seen an argonian before?
8
In a job interview, what's a good thing to ask to make a good impression?
49
"What is better - to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"
47
Thanks, I'll make sure to try that next time :)
15
No problem, make sure to also mention the theory that kindness is just a social construct.
(Nice one BTW)
16
What bar pick up line works the best?
48
"Never should have come here!"
61
How do you feel about the Holocaust Memorial?
44
Bad, there is only one mummified corpse to talk with.
53
Holy shit.
11
I think this is my favorite pairing
1
What would the Empire need to defeat the Thalmor ?
42
They could need some elbow grease and a splatter of oil.
48
How do you feel about your wife? And what's your sex life like?
42
The poor lady! She is just a humble maid who does simple chores around the house! Where did you get the idea that she would be into such filthy things?
52
I see you're very old school. To each his own I guess.
14
How would you describe your girlfriend?
42
It is quite cavernous, could easily fit dragons in there.
51
Christ.
21
What do you like the most about being a sexy dragon?
37
How everyone thinks they can take on dragons, it takes a real man to handle something that size.
42
What part of Skyrim relates most closely to your personal life?
35
This is a tough one, it stands between having dinner with a crazed madman and getting to pretend to be a world class chef.
45
How many Argonians have you killed?
34
I think I slaughtered at least 60, although that includes those annoying kids.
48
Damn racist Nord, this is why our Thalmor saviors hate you guys.
20
Did you just assume my race?
I will have you know I identify as a horker!
And from now on I expect you to refer to me by "Ho, Hor and Horself"
30
Honestly, that response was much funnier than my original planned joke. You want to hear it?
11
You maniac....
5
You have a choice, either you put the lotion on the skin or you get the hose again.
7
If you could have one of the races jerk you off, which one would you choose
I feel like you saw that one coming
34
Nords have large muscular arms so they get a good grip.
42
Yea, most are sex jokes. I was kinda hoping you would go for "Which race would be most helpful when moving furniture?"
17
Which race would be most helpful when moving furniture?
10
Giants, finally someone who can reach on top of that damn cabinet!
13
Was fondling a Horker with Jarl Balgruuf worth it?
30
Yes, I really wanted to experience how it was to be an old dilapidated freak. Also you get to become a vampire a bit later.
28
How many women have you sexually assaulted?
23
As many as I can feed to my argonian pets.
36
By the eight!
7
by the nine!
FTFY
17
Found the stormcloak.
7
Talos is a false god!
2
Khajiit wonders, in which province would you expect to find this one's homeland?
19
Normally it should be in Skyrim.
19
Found the Imperial sympathizer.
10
[deleted]
1
How do you handle those lonely Skyrim nights?
I usually grab my short sword.