Day 6 - Power in Decision

I may actually run out of things to say in these entries. Or the things I have to say that are worth taking a few paragraphs to say will be few and far between.
So I’m at day 6 now and it’s really interesting because ever since I started putting my mind on the culture of nofap and looking to material that will help with the addiction resistance, I’ve experienced little to no temptation. Whereas if I had gone on from my last relapse with only a single afterthought of “I’ll maybe do better next time,” I would have been hit really hard last night or even two nights ago. But instead, it seems I’ve put my mind into the light. Since my mind is occupied with such an enthusiastic anti-porn mindset, it leaves little more room for temptation to have as much of an effect. I think I’ve grown more in wisdom especially related to this topic in the last six days than I have in the last six months. Obviously since I’ve never come at this addiction like this before. 
I do have something to say I forgot to in my last two entries…a couple days ago (I think it was the night of day 4) I was lying in bed and my mind was fresh on this topic. But for some reason, I was having trouble sleeping. I actually felt a little afraid. And this was like a childlike fear. It was dark and my eyes were deceiving me into seeing monsters in the shapes of my bedroom furniture. It didn’t take me long before I asked myself, “what can possibly hurt me right now? The only thing that’s hurting me, is me being afraid and depriving myself of sleep.” And I closed my eyes and went to sleep. It was effortless. Whatever force in my mind or in my room that was trying to get me to succumb to fear, couldn’t succeed against someone with self-control. I had a mental image in my mind as I drifted to sleep. And it was a picture of me lying down on the ground as Satan got right up in my face and all around my body, trying to push me into doing something, but he wasn’t touching me. Just hovering. He was so angry…and I just laughed like a mad man. I said, “you can’t make me do anything.” And I laughed and laughed and laughed until I fell asleep. 
This was obviously just a passing day dream (at night) but it came to me so vividly that it’s stuck with me for a few days now. One could look at this and maybe be tempted to feel pride well up inside themselves…but now that I write it out, I can see that would be a huge mistake. I must remain in a humble but patient mindset. I cannot start puffing myself up because of a dream I had. The dream itself meant so much to me in a good way. But it could also be very bad for me if I don’t watch my pride. 
Dang dreams are weird. One more passing thought: something I heard today was that if you are striving towards a goal…say for some it’s 30 days, 90 days. Whatever…then doing nofap is pointless. This whole thing that we do…don’t masturbate or look at porn…it’s not just for us. It’s for a betterment of society. If we come at this with only selfish intentions to better ourselves so each of us can achieve that “ideal” self, then we won’t achieve any satisfaction from doing this. So there should be no goal, just a journey. A lifetime that’s changed so we can have better lives, so others can have better lives. It’s kind of a beautiful trap, this whole nofap thing…it reels people in with their own selfishness (no one would do nofap if they didn’t think it would make them feel better) and it produces (in a lot of cases) people who want to give more. But all “nofap” really is, is a bunch of guys who decided to actually take responsibility for their lives, myself included.