This subreddit is for me

it can be for you, too, although i doubt anyone will actually find this.

I'm an anxious person and by anxious, i mean fucking neurotic. I love my boyfriend immensly but I push him away in my need to be needed. I struggle with depression that manifests in lack of motivation and ambition, insecurity, and deep periods of sadness. I over eat, under excersize, and dont give a shit enough to shower more than twice a week. Every two months I have a crisis about the state of my relationship, failing to acknowledge that I am receding into my mind and pushing J away. I need help, professional therapeutic help and the week after i muster the energy to track someone down, i lose my insurance. So here i am. Paralyzed with anxiety, hyper aware of the fact that if i don't work on myself, i am going to self destruct the best thing in my life besides cooking.

Fuck