Ask CFBOT: Funny High School Stories

Shamelessly stolen from a response in another thread:

I was on the debate team in high school. I was pretty damn good for what I did, but often, I had free time while my teammates were in late night rounds. One of my responsibilities was babysitting the team bike. While we didn't get along, she would respect me.

I was a shit tier babysitter though and often I'd just let her sneak off and do what team bikes do, and my coach would grill me on why I wasn't watching her. I usually got away with it with stories like "But homework and mah grades" or "Uh, I was busy being useful" or "I don't know, I was on stage during the fucking awards ceremony like I'm supposed to be, woman. Do you want me to win less? Cause I'm pretty sure you like it when I earn those sweepstakes points."

My last tournament was probably my favorite time she snuck off.

She snuck off with a sweet but naive guy from a sister team. I knew this was an angle she'd been working for a couple weeks because we went to a tournament with a few of our sister teams to get points for state and I'd been telling her to stop making out by the evidence tubs and get qualified for state.

After awards, the two of them disappeared. The girls on the sister team were freaking out and looking for him for a couple hours, including during the awards ceremony. About an hour after they first asked me, I realized our team bike was missing, and odds were they were together. My response was "Eh, her purse is here so it can't be that bad. She can't possibly get into that much trouble?" Wrong answer, obviously. I flipped the script and got away with it scot free cause it's not my fault she's an embarrassment.

Girl still makes trouble with me any chance she gets and I've been out of school almost a decade. She got kicked off after I graduated for being a grade A asshole.