Tips on bettering myself.

I came to this subreddit almost 2 years ago to try and better myself, and got distracted. I found a few tips to do so but nothing really impactful. Over the course of this time ive really become unhealthy. Enfp wise and mentally. So ill just list a few things and any tip or fix would be lovely. Except telling me to go to seek psychiatric care. Thats just annoying.

·I dont care about myself. Its a typical problem but i often go a full week without combing my hair or showering.

·All these social issues are couping me into a box that i cant really be a man. Like confidence, it feels like even the simplest smile towards a girl is raping them. So i keep to myself alot.

·I grew up in a ton of different families that i dont quite understand anything.

·My values are a bit screwed up. I think its because i never had a rolemodel or someone to sit me down and have these type of conversations with. A father figure if you will.

·My family is cool. I think. Idk. I dont know any of them.

· I feel lonely in the most busiest places i live in the bay area so shit i feel pathetic.

I dont know what im asking for any more or if im just sharing whats on my overbearing mind. But i dont want to stay like this anymore. I want to know you guyss secret or fix. Not for my situations just on how to make things better.