The numbers on the scale are going... down. :( I'm failing at being pregnant.

I'm not bragging. I'm 20 weeks pregnant in a few days and I've lost 7 lbs. I am on almost the MAXIMUM amount of diclegis you are allowed to take and I keep loosing weight. I'm afraid to tell my husband because well, he'll freak. I have been vomiting for what feels like FOREVER. After 14 weeks of vomiting my stomach is so small that I physically can not fit large meals in my stomach. Not to mention I am afraid to eat. Isn't that sad?? I'm AFRAID to put food in my mouth because I mentally kick myself EVERY time I puke. Because I feel like a failure. I feel like this is all mental and if I were just stronger I would not vomit and I would be able to keep the damn food down in my stomach.

I have our ultrasound tomorrow and I'm terrified. I'm terrified the baby is going to be in the lower percentiles of growth. Add to that the vomiting and weight loss the fact that I have gestational high BP (which also results in reduced growth) I'm stressing out.... a lot.

I feel like SUCH a failure. No matter what anyone says I am convinced I brought this on myself and if I was a stronger person I would be able to not vomit. I'm scared.