How could a brainless cunt like me know what to do?

Somebody help me! I've been wandering around lost for so long and.. and all I need is to feel like I belong somewhere. I've been eating from trash bins and sleeping where I hope I won't be found, behind dumpsters or in service hallways. What I need is a Better, a Master who can make sure that my food bin has something in it when I behave, and who tells me exactly where to sleep and when to wake. I wasn't meant for living in the streets, and it's time I do something about it. I'm done living as a stray. I need to be your property, and I need it today. Or.. tomorrow, whichever works best for you, sir.

(OOC: Been lurking around here for a couple months, wanting to jump in to the RP scene. I've been active on r/dirtypenpals for a while now under some different usernames, but I'm ready to settle down as u/Blaire_XT and come join in service to the Empire. That said, I'm looking for a little hand on how to maybe set up an auction or just.. ya know. Dive in feet first. Anyone?)