Advice explaining an NParent to someone

Hey everyone!

I figure this is a common issue so I thought I'd post here and get advice. How do you explain how bad an NParent is to someone else?

I've recently moved states and completely gone NC with my NMother, who was horribly abusive. I've spent the past three years living on my own (since my 18th), but was only 2 hours away and dealt with threats of her coming to my place.

I'm currently staying with my boyfriend's family, while he and I secure a place. The problem is that both his immediate and extended family (who are currently also living here) have never experienced anything even close to this.

They constantly question why I didn't move out as a teenager, and why I'm still hurt by what has happened. Because I've only been NC about a month, I'm definitely still struggling.

That said, I don't like putting my negative emotions on these guys, so if I'm feeling sad or anxious, I tend to go sit in my room for a few hours until it passes.

They believe I should just move on. The problem is, I'm trying. I'm in contact with a psychologist, and am finalising all other matters relating to NMother.

They're angry that I didn't cut contact earlier (I had to wait until the 18th birthday of my youngest sibling, as I didn't want NMother to forbid contact between us), and also complain if I mention NMother.

I'm definitely trying not to bring her up - but it's difficult, because when these guys reminisce about their childhood, I like to do the same. I try to keep it as positive as possible, and will end anything negative statements by saying something about how it's allowed me to develop as a person, but it's really difficult.

I'm a student at the moment and have dental issues, which my NMother has refused to fix, even when I was a teen living with her. It caused me pain when I eat sometimes, and these guys tend to blame that on me again and don't understand why I can't get it fixed (again, full-time student for one more year and I have very limited income and nobody else supporting me financially, as my father passed away when I was 12).

I think the difficult thing is that they say these things away from me, so I feel I can't give them my perspective or reasoning. They either say them to my boyfriend, or the second I leave the room (when I can still hear).

It's causing me a lot of anxiety. Do you guys have any suggestions? I could really really use the help, as I'm definitely not coping with this alone, and have no idea what to do.

Thank you for reading (=