My mental issues, how they can be attributed to my NDad, and how much of a bitch it is to get help for them.

Alright, so I am mentally fucked in so many different directions it makes my head spin. Or have I been manipulated? I don't fucking know. I'll list them in terms of having an NDad. I'm starting to think that how my NDad has acted has had a significant negative impact on how I view other people in general, particularly adults. I've narrowed it down to...

• Borderline Personality Disorder
• Whenever a teacher is telling me off for something, my mind makes their stern face look like barely-controlled rage.
• If I get a chance to have control over a relationship, I will be all over it, and I don't even realize that I'm doing it.
• When distressed I see attempts to apologize as lies and start to dissociate from reality, accusing them of "using me" or "laughing at my misery". Recently I've started to notice my NDad's extremely cynical worldview.
• I chronically feel like my unstability isn't taken seriously, so I fantasize about stabbing myself in the leg with a fork or something while looking my NDad in the eyes.
• Identity disturbance, as in I don't feel like I understand myself, and struggle to make personal decisions, changing my career plans weekly. I can only assume this is due to my NDad always telling me I'm not what I say I am.
• Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
• I'm so deprived of control over my own life that it's become an addiction.
• I don't think any psychologists will care enough to properly diagnose me, so I've compiled literally thousands of notes on mental disorders and all the ways in which I display them.
• When I went to work with him (on ADHD meds), all the jobs I was given were done ridiculously inefficiently. He continually told me that I didn't know what I was doing, and do just do everything the way he told me. It was only when he saw the process fully automated that he started bragging about my success to his coworkers.
• ADHD
• I find myself getting incessantly yelled at whenever I forget something, whenever I move too slow, whenever I get zeros on my report card, etc.
• When I went to get diagnosed, the whole time NDad was complaining about how long it was taking. When he spoke my mental issues, he made them seem much more insignificant.
• All my teachers can universally agree that I struggle to follow instructions, because I'm used to them being arrogantly wrong.
• When I was prescribed antidepressants and my anxiety dropped like a rock, my hyperactivity came back out after years of remission. Of course, my NDad said this was "due to the drugs", going entirely against his "there's no excuse!" catchphrase.

And how has my NDad responded to my pleas?

• "I think you've done too much research."
• "IF YOU WERE A PERFECTIONIST YOU'D ACE ALL YOUR CLASSES IN SCHOOL!"
• "Through meditation, I have become significantly enlightened spiritually. You don't need all those drugs, they'll mess you up."
• Hasn't made any difference in him. And he ignored the question when I asked him for one time where I was sufficiently motivated while not on ADHD medication.
• After complaining for months... "Alright Zephandrypus, so maybe you have some mild ADD. We're working on it, okay?"
• I crashed my car the first time driving.
• "THAT'S NO EXCUSE!"
• All I hear from his mouth, everyday all day, are excuses and complaints.
• "Antidepressants are powerful stimulants, stay away from them. I couldn't sleep and had a racing heart all night."
• His experience is the universal rule. I highly doubt he saw that this was in any way a possibly concerning problem with his body's chemicals, and it was "all the drug".

He downplays and dismisses all of my arguments towards having severely debilitating ADHD. You know what I did? YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING DID? I have no boundaries when it comes to detail. I went through every diagnostic criteria and wrote a list of symptoms, went through my school life and wrote all the abnormalties, went through my family and pointed out all the ADHD tendencies, and wrote several lists about the overwhelmingly positive changes in my life when medicated. I also handed out sheets to my teachers to get more evidence, and have about 20 pages of information total and counting. He made me give up one time too many, and now it's my turn.

TL;DR - Was robbed of a healthy life due to 17 years of untreated ADHD (still ongoing).