How do you believe?

I have attempted suicide thrice. But has always managed to chicken out at the 11th hour. My family and some friends were the reason I am still alive.

I am with depression and anxiety. I miss feeling normal. I don't know what it feels like anymore. Being in the military, I get bullied by my direct superior with his abuse of power. The "channels" or protocols to raise such behaviour to a higher authority is warped and controlled by him.

The world is such a dark place.

People say tons of things. "Things will get better." "You look back, and you will feel this experience makes you stronger etc". I find it hard to find faith in such words, in the belief that things will get better, somehow.

I have no religion. For those that have faith in such words, how do you do it?