My (22/F) dad is in the hospital after a surgery. My brother (21/M) isn't doing his chores since my mom isn't here to yell at him.

My dad's probably going to be home by the beginning of next week and everything is really unsanitary right now. He's having a lot of dizzy spells and won't be able to do very much for himself.

He hasn't been able to for a long time anyway. He's been really ill (cancer) and they went in to fix ulcers in his stomach and discovered that the previous place fucked up everything so bad my mom is considering suing.

It's horrific how gross it is right now. It stinks, there's a week/week and a half of dishes slowly creeping from the sink onto the stovetop. I have to put stuff on the floor just to cook. Our bug problem has exponentially multiplied.

Normally I'd just mentally say a "fuck you too" and do shit myself.

But I have a disability called POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). My blood pressure doesn't regulate itself properly. I'm not able to sit upright or stand for long without dizziness or fainting.

Many times a day I have to stop at and sit down immediately. Doesn't matter where I am, kitchen floor, store aisle, shower. I sit down and rest when I start getting dizzy, because I know the signs and how far I can push without fainting. We even installed grab bars in the shower for me.

Dishes on top of sitting upright and watching our little sister after school, having been in morning classes already, and making supper is past my physical limits.

It sucks, and I understand it's probably tough on the whole family that I'm disabled and can't do more. Looking at it from his perspective it probably seems like I do a whole lot of sitting down and not doing much, and that I refuse to help him out of laziness.

But it is what it is.

I'm working on trying to get some sort of treatment, but I've been to a few docs and they're afraid anything they give me would push my blood pressure too high, since in between episodes it's normal.

(Well, duh. I'd be in the hospital if it wasn't, can't pass out every five minutes y'know.)

Usually when they get out of hand Mom's here to yell at him, and they'll scream for an hour or two and he'll get angsty about how unfair it is and how it's too much work. But he'll do the dishes every day for a while again. Then he stops doing them, gets overwhelmed at the buildup and asks/tells me he needs me to help more.

And yeah maybe I could do a little bit when I can- wash my own dishes when I'm done with them, if I'm up to it that day.

But by the time he's overwhelmed he wants someone else to catch him up 100%. It's not a matter of 20-30min it's an hour, two hours of washing and drying dishes because of how gross they've gotten.

I've been trying to get him to do dishes and take out the trash the entire time they've been gone and he says he will and then just doesn't. Or he'll put the dishes in water to "soak" and then does a little half load 24hrs later, then "soaks" some more and does the same thing.

Sometimes he's up at strange hours and I'll hear dishes crashing/water running at 2am and there'll be just enough bowls for breakfast the next morning.

It's driving me insane. I want to be able to make myself coffee without going elbow deep in freezing, slimy dishwater for a cup.

My boyfriend washed me a pot the other day and my brother came out of his room to act all sheepish and say he was just about to do the dishes- then didn't even do them after.

It's just so exhausting. What do I even do, reddit? No consequence seems to phase him. If I don't make him up a plate at supper, he just walks a block and gets food. Mom threatens to kick him out? He has friends to crash with. Mom threatens to take him off her insurance because he's not paying her the agreed on amount? Whatevs.

Tl;dr: I'm physically incapable of doing dishes, and my brother whose chore it is has been refusing to do them. Mom's usually the only one to motivate him via screaming matches, and she's gone with dad at the hospital. Something's got to happen, and I'm too exhausted for screaming matches.