I'm not even sad, just painfully bored of existing

My crippling social phobia is so destructive. I dropped out of school because I could only go in after a few shots. I live at home and have no job, no friends (they all moved on) and no money, I do nothing with my life.

Sometimes I don't even have the energy to turn my pc on to play games, so i just lie here. I can only ever feel some sort of happiness if I am high from a drug. theres no way out