I've been in bed for ten hours

Last night I took my Xanax along with some sleeping pulls. Just to calm me down. Last Wednesday I took three Finnegan and my roommate had to hit me in the spine to wake me up. Then Sunday my ex boss screamed at the top of his lungs at me and was cursing me out and calling me all types of names and told me jm worthless. So I got home punched my kitchen door until it was just a pile of wood on the floor and drank half a handle of liquor. In the morning I told my roommate that I was done with stuff like that.

Last night I was only trying to calm myself down. Apparently I fell asleep on the toilet. This morning he told me he has zero respect for anything I say and that Im a junkie.

I have to agree with him on that last part but hearing my best and only friend tell me he has zero respect for me completely broke me. I have been in bed for the last ten hours some of which spent sleeping and the other hours crying. I hate myself and I don't know what to do all I want is to feel betfer.

None of my prescriptions help except for the Xanax. I don't want to turn to other drugs but at the same time I can't keep on living like this.

Thanks for listening