Longing for a girl who I haven't spoken to in years

This is going to sound really stupid but I don't give a shit. I realized today that the last time I felt real happiness was in 5th grade. There was this girl who I had a huge crush on. I remember how just seeing her made me feel like I had butterflies in my stomach. Everyday was better then the last and I loved coming to school and just talking to this girl. She could make me laugh with no effort and we always ended up smiling like idiots at eachother.

Then 6th grade came. 6th grade is the year that my life went downhill. For whatever reason me and this girl stopped talking and our paths ultimately seperated. She became a really popular athlete who litterally everyone likes. I, on the other hand, became an invisible loser who made friends with asshole stoners and asshole jocks. She probably thinks I'm a complete loser now if she even remembers me.

It's now senior year and I can't stop thinking about this girl. She represented a time in my life where I looked forward to waking up each day. I can't imagine ever meeting a girl who makes me feel like this girl did. I know it's not good to hold on to the past, but I seriously can't remember a time that I was happy after 5th grade. Someone please invent the time machine soon.