Cabbage

"Pa?" "Yeah, son?" "Them cabbages ain't supposed to glow, is they?" The old man's jaw dropped so far that the vegetable soup nearly fell out of his mouth. As he peered out the window near the dining table, he realized that his son was correct. All of their cabbages were emanating a faint blue glow. The whole family agreed, ma, pa, and son, that those were the best cabbages they'd ever eaten. And both the coroner and all the other people that saw their warped faces and mangled bodies agreed that their deaths must have been very painful. But their deaths and the glowing cabbages weren't the strangest thing that happened that month. Not by far. No, the truly strange thing is when they weren't dead the next morning. They just strolled into town, the whole family, happy as can be. They were.....different, though. They were much more talkative and sociable. Usually they just stayed at their little shack, only coming to town when they absolutely needed to. The residents were shocked of course, but they were happy that their neighbors were alive and well, so they simply accepted it. But the strange occurrences didn't stop there. People started dying in their homes the same way, and coming back to life the same way. Eventually it'd happened to everyone in town. Then the town's efficiency increased tenfold. More money came in, and less went out. It was as if all the townsfolk were connected somehow. Soon enough, it had spread through all of Texas. Then America. Then the world. They advanced much quicker when they didn't have such things as unimportant to them as "art" or "creativity" slowing them down. They built space ships and rockets, aand explored all of the known and unknown universe. Soon, they had found other life on other planets! That life started mysteriously dying off, though.... But not to worry, they just came back the next day. It had only been 35 years since the first family was "infected", and already the whole universe had been too. The wild-eyed man started to laugh. "I've finally done it!" He exclaimed. He pressed a large, red button on his control console. Then, in perfect unison, each living thing in the universe used whatever appendages it had, and reached up to its head and twisted to the result of a zillion sickening cracks. Then, the man walked over to the woman who had ropes tied around her hands and legs. She had already gotten tired of screaming and crying, and simply stayed silent. The man got down on one knee, and opened a small, dusty box with a small, dusty ring inside. Then, with tears in his eyes, the man spoke. "Now will you accept, my dear? I can assure you:

I am now the last man in the universe."