Medicinal Vaping

Hello vaporents,

For the past two or three years I've had issues with anxiety and depression possibly mixed with anger management as well. In the last 2 months I vaped/smoked everyday. All three of these issues completely disappeared during this time, however I was high/buzzed everyday. (Not stoned enough for people to notice)

After this two-month streak obviously gained a large tolerance so I decided to go on a t break this week. (I still live in an illegal legal state, it is very expensive to stay medicated.) All three of my symptoms are now back.

The thing is, I do not know whether or not my symptoms have gotten worse, or maybe I am just now noticing how bad they were since this is the first time used anything to counter it. Either way, I am completely and utterly miserable. I don't enjoy doing any of the things I used to and I'm in a constant state of sadness or frustration.

I am struggling a lot right now because my family, my community, and my State's laws have massive opposition to the consumption of cannabis and anyone who takes part. I felt happier, more motivated, and more full of life when I was vaping everyday, but now I have a lot of feelings of guilt and anxiety about my usage.

Why do I hate myself and my life when I'm in a sober state? Like I said, I felt this way both before and after I tried cannabis, but I don't know how to deal with the pressure of the people around me.

If you read this to the end, thank you for hearing me out. I would love to hear anything you guys have to say on the subject.