help me i am going crazyyy from mental pain and need to die ... i really need a help

my problem is that whenever i do anything such as writing things on the lap or doing anything on it and when i walk and when i eat and when someone disapprove of me i just feel a constant feeling of guilt and fear that doesnt stop ever and i feel that i am doing something wrong or illegal and cant concentrate on anything i do because of that and it isnt a long period that i continue to do the thing and then i retreat back leaving whatever i have to do because of that feeling that never goes away and because of that feeling that is also present whenever i study i have failed alot of subjects and when i eat i feel that everyone want me to stop doing any sound and from then i start to feel guilty and afraid like a hell and reppeatedly convince myself that i am not doing anything that is wrong or illegal but it is just a futile great effort that leads me to more and more misery and now i am feeling that the neighbours are constantly monitoring me and hate me and want me to stop doing whatever is it because it bothers them and i am making illegal noises that is not definite i mean that whatever i do and with a different range of sound and from the lowest unnoticed thing to every apparent sound for example the sound that i do is the sound of clicking and typing on the keyboard causes me an overwhelming feeling of guilt and fear that i prefer to die than to try to go on doing anything and that feeling of the neighbours has especially activated after a specific situation where i was walking in the apartment and one neighbour had came to me telling me that my sound of walking make him cant sleep i was just walking on my heels because i read that it is the healthiest way of walking please help me i really need a help is that ocd or related and if it is please give me an advice to how to cope with that and even if it isnt please give me any advice note that i was severely abused by nearly every one i happened to know including my siblings and my father and in school thankss very much for reading