Nobody'll care about this post (lot of text)

...And you don't have any reason to read this after this point. Feel free to downvote and move on when you start nodding off.

Funny thing, before I begin- I actually had to login to desktop mode to post this. Weird stuff on here.

The year was 2012, and I just got home from school that cold August day. After hopping on Kik, I received a text from a buddy of mine.

"Hey man, can you do me a favor?"

Of course- he didn't have to ask first. That guy and I were tighter than two hex bolts on a screw.

"Sure," I humored him. "What do you need?"

I didn't know it at the time, but the world slowed down a little when this text sent. As if THIS was the answer to my unspoken prayers of frustation and grief.

"Download Coco and talk to this girl for me, here's her username. I'm shy."

I didn't think a second thought about it- I genuinely thought I was doing a buddy a favor.

So I did it.

Five frustrating minutes in of making the account, I sent her a voice message.

"Hi, I know this is weird and all, but.. I have a friend that really wants to talk to you and doesn't really know what to say. Here's his username. Real chill guy."

An hour passed as I quietly doodled away on my sketchpad. The silence of the soft scribbling against the rough paper was interrupted with the VRRR VRRR vibrating pattern of my device.

A young, gorgeous voice replied with such a dictation that would make a gay man do a double-take. Her upbeat Southern drawl was butter atop a perfectly cooked stack of pancakes:

"Haha, thanks. I'll be sure to send him a message. I'm Abbie, by the way."

I hadn't given it much thought at the time, so when she sent me the next message a day later I was shellshocked that a girl would spark interest in me of all people.

"So.. You're Chris?"

I replied- but in such a cold, empathetic way it's as if the devil sent the message in lieu of myself.

"Yeah."

Days passed with her trying so hard to make a connection. Years of isolation hardened my heart in such a manner that you could use the vestigial organ to beat metal beams into place.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Black."

"Oh... Why?"

"Because."

"Oh... Do you have a Skype account? It's a pain to keep changing apps like this."

"No."

"You should make one," she said. "You have such a nice voice."

A year passed by. Within those twelve months we've talked every day in a Skype call for hours on end. My attention was not always on her, though.

"So Chris, do you-

Oh hi Tanner!"

Her sister. She just barged in with exciting news: she met a guy. They started gushing over him for what seemed like an hour.

"Chris, why aren't you talking?"

"Don't wanna interrupt," I said. "It's rude."

As I continued sketching an alien mutilating a space marine with its long black claws, she began her rant.

"You don't have to worry about interrupting when you're around me, jump in whenever you like."

"That's not really my style and-"

Her sister said something about the guy. They start gushing again.

I hung up.

Eventually our calls became more serious.

"Abbie, what's wrong? It's midnight over here."

"I can't stop crying," she said after inhaling and fighting back tears. "Dad came home today... Mad again."

I could hear his alcohol- wracked scratchy voice bellowing from the other side of the house.

"Will one of you assholes bring me another beer? I'm empty again!"

Sometimes our conversations would... Get worse than just that.

"Has he ever hit you?" I asked.

She hesitated.

"Abbie."

"He.. Used to."

"That fucking son of a bitch," I began.

"No no, Chris- he stopped. I swear. After I hit him back..."

We cried together. We talked. We ate together. We did everything together- yet we never even got the chance to meet. We would spend every minute awake, and then keep the call on when we slept to make it seem like we were together.

One night I had a nightmare. I awoke on my back in a cold sweat as I heard her soft breathing with each breath she took. The calmness that fell upon me was instantaneous.

My love for her waxed white hot as the days became shorter.

And, well... I don't think anyone actually read past the second paragraph so I'll stop my melodramatic narrative here.

I uh.. I dunno the point of posting this. It's late and these days I don't have her to talk to and fall asleep with.

Do you guys want to know why I'm Forever Alone, truly? It's not just because I'm ugly.

Because I am.

But it seems every time I let some girl in- I got hurt. Every time.

Didn't matter if her and I dated- she always got away with a piece of my heart.

Just.. Abbie took the whole cake.

And now that there ain't nothing left of my heart to give, I can just sit back and watch as everyone else has such success in their happy relationships that it sickens me. I'm cynical about damn near everything now.

Anyway... I'm gonna go. This writing whiskey ain't gonna drink itself