22/F, if that matters. Depression up the wazoo fam

Yo NeedaFriend, I understand that the last thing we might want to do when hungry is feed someone else, but I think I need someone empathetic and who won't mind talking about me. This isn't to say I'm not going to be interested in you, but people around me irl seriously drone on and on about themselves that I sometimes want to scream, run around like a headless chicken, and smash a window bodily to escape. With those kinds of ppl I'd sooner talk about my bowel movements than my innermost thoughts. Whatever happened to give and take and two-way conversation? A close friend told me I'm blunt, but I don't think I'm mean about it. The amount of 'I' statements here is jarring, but hey I gotta assert my needs sometime, no?

Topics I'm interested in: me, you probably if you're nice enough, fears about the future, things that make me sad which is like 70% of my day-to-day emotions, ethics, how the world is unfair and we're on this spinning rock because our parents boinked at a specific time and if we're being honest i'd rather mine boinked a millisecond later so i wouldnt have to feel loneliness and type this stupid thing, isn't it weird that ppl put so much stock in appearance (including me tbh) when dating when what should matter is personality? Isnt dating weird because we're all technically in competition and being in an exclusive relationship is celebrated but it closes us off from loving our fellow humans and makes us instead focus on One Special Person? Isnt it sad that we're stuck with our bodies and personalities and that the existence of free will is debatable? Doesnt the competitive nature of life scare you like im not equipped for this shit wtf.

I drank too much green tea