How did you find your people?

I'm not sure if this is the best subreddit for this post but I love you ladies, and "broken" is starting to feel like the only word that describes how I feel lately.

I am having an incredibly difficult time finding a mom group that I fit into. I have tried a few and recently thought I may have found a good one. After a few months, however, I realized it was not a good fit. I'm starting to run out of options in the area it seems. I had no idea it would be this hard! Just to give you an idea of crazy shit that has happened in only the past month..

1. A girl I started to form a friendship with went on a rant about the Obama family. She called them classless and compared them to apes. She used multiple racial slurs. No one seemed to mind. I was shocked and I immediately cut contact with her. I have a 16 month old that is learning to talk and I don't want that kind of talk being exposed to him. I was called "dramatic" and "attention seeking." Even though I never said anything about it, I just removed myself from the situation.

2. Everyone is trying to sell me shit. EVERYONE. "You could really use the control these leggings have built in." Excuse me?! Who says that to someone?

3. I was shamed for being unable to breastfeed. I have insufficient glandular tissue and was told this was "not a thing." Multiple moms harassed me with information about how breast is best (no shit I tried for months) and how I failed my child. Why would some people be so cruel? They did this on our Facebook page to organize meet ups. None of the mods stopped them, in fact one of the mods was doing this. It was so embarrassing and hurtful, so I ended up leaving the group.

On top of all this, I am exhausted because my child will not sleep consistently and I am a SAHM. I never know when I will get a break. He doesn't nap. He wakes up most nights. BUT I'm so worried that he's got a developmental delay, I feel horrible if I don't give him attention or socialize him constantly throughout the day. He's still not taking, but very smart, and I can't help but feel like a failure. I couldn't feed my child, I can't get him to sleep, I can't even teach him to communicate. The pediatrician says he's perfect and not to worry until 18 months but the mom guilt is so real.

I just wish I could find a nice mom, just one, with a kid close in age for my son to play with. Is that so much to ask? I guess asking for them to be decent people, not racist, mean, or rude is too much?

How did you ladies find your people? Your village, tribe, etc. ?