fiendlittlewing•

Well, if he's a Christian bear then he'll say grace right before he eats your head.

3
SerialAntagonistOPHumanist•

There's a classic old joke about a circuit preacher who is traveling through a wooded area when he is suddenly surrounded by bears. He starts praying "God, please grant me a miracle and turn these bears Christian!" and immediately all the bears sit on their haunches and put their forepaws together as if in prayer. The preacher is just about to start praising God for his miraculous rescue when he hears one of the bears say, "Bless us, O Lord, and these thy gifts which we are about to receive."

7
fiendlittlewing•

Yea, that's where I got the idea.

1
ooglioI'm a None•

If he's a Christian zombie bear he will say grace right before he eats your brain. Otherwise, he is more likely to eat your liver, which is a lot easier to get at, and more nutritious. Have you ever tried to bite through a human skull? I have, and believe me, it is tough.

3
Mitsuman77Atheist•

Are you a polar bear though? I'd be willing to bet their bite strength is stronger than yours.

1
ooglioI'm a None•

You may be right.

1
lineolationEx-Theist•

2 Kings 2:24 is surprisingly silent on the question of saying grace.

2
Davi-Danger•

I had no idea this was even in there

1
MdeGrasseBison•

My cousin's wife took those photos. I don't know if any of the articles mention this but there had been a crow on top of that cross just seconds before the pictures were taken.

3
SerialAntagonistOPHumanist•

Then it's definitely a Christian polar bear, because crows are satanic!

1
MdeGrasseBison•

Touché

1
meebalz2•

So the furball was hungry or curious. God works on mysterious ways.

1
Russelsteapot42•

I mean, the bear is probably just marking its territory on one of the few landmarks in the area.

2
Mitsuman77Atheist•

I want someone from the Satanic church to find this place, and erect a statue of Baphomet right next to it. I bet the polar bear "prays" in front of it as well.

1
iHaveAgency•

Bears with persecution complexes are the most dangerous to humans.

1
MeeHungLowe•

What's so surprising about seeing a white christian bear? Now if it had been a brown christian bear, that would have been surprising...

1
jharnett44De-Facto Atheist•

That's a right leaning newspaper who's based to the Conservative Party. Don't think this is credible news. Lol

1
[deleted]•

[removed]

1