Source
r/asktransgender•
lenut

Should I use today to test the coming out waters?

I am not on HRT yet I feel I should say that first for some reason. But my main question is should I use April fools to test the waters on Facebook by coming out but not saying at any point it is a joke and letting people form their own opinions. Obviously I can't put the genie back in the bottle I know that. If this would offend other members of LGBTQ+ let me know. I bounced the idea off my best friend who is gay and he liked the idea.

Posted Apr 2, 2017, 12:06 AM UTC · edited

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the_stalking_leopardI want Lana Del Rey's nose.•

If you're that flamboyant friend, whose quite asocial and lacks confidence and isn't really the joking type, they'll know it's not a joke.

People will have shit to say about you whether you're cis or trans. I say go for it and don't pull out with an April Fools card.

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lenutOP•

I don't believe I am very flamboyant, but years ago there were suspicions I was gay. At no point am I willing to issue a retraction even prior to writing this post. It's more of a "I can neither confirm nor deny"

I have been in a bad place mentally recently and this feels like the boost I need. I am 90% confident the people that matter will support me but anyone who's been in my place knows what family not knowing feels like.

Should I message my family before the post? It feels wrong to not give them a heads up.

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ImHerCupofTeaMTF, 41,Orchi 6/25/16, HRT 7/21/16•

Should I message my family before the post? It feels wrong to not give them a heads up.

I wrote my parents and my sister (on paper) about a week before I came out on Facebook. My sister was more supportive than I expected, and my parents were about exactly as supportive as I expected, which is to say basically not (but even they had to admit I'm an adult and it's my life). Whatever the reactions might have been, I felt like letting them know first allowed me to move ahead with an utterly free conscience.

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alessandrawhocodes31 MtF (HRT since 04/09/15)•

That's an interesting dilemma certainly. I think it's gonna depend on your audience if they automatically feel it's a joke and mock you on that or if they kinda believe it's something probably right and try to be supporting and yet "in the joke". Does that make sense?

I think it's probably a safe way to, as you say, test the waters and gather some idea of how your friends think about LGBT issues in general and trans people in particular. That being said, people do tend to react differently when they think you're joking vs when you're talking about something real. I was a bit wary of a friend that had mocked trans people before, but after coming out told me it was just messing around, and he had already trans friend and he was totally supportive. I did not expect that from him.

1