Source
r/army•
astrower

My fiance is seriously depressed, potentially suicidal. We are long distance. Who can I contact to get her help?

She is currently stationed at Ft Riley, KS. I'd prefer not to give anymore information other than that right now. She feels very alone every day and claims everyone in her unit hates her. I do not think she is actually suicidal at this point in time, but I am worried it could be come a reality. Right now my goal is talking her into getting help, it would be more effective I feel if she did it herself rather than me forcing her.

Her biggest worries are getting in trouble and everyone thinking she is crazy. I told her neither of those are true, but even if I'm wrong, I'm not going to let her hurt herself. If it gets to the point where I think she is actually going to something, who can I contact? I want like numbers on speed dial, and exactly what information I need to give them.

Any other advice would be helpful, I'm doing my best but this has gotten way out of my league. All I want is for her to get the help she needs, I don't care if she never talks to me again over it.

Posted Apr 8, 2017, 10:17 PM UTC

2127
The_CaptainMorgan25U•

My husband (SPC) said to contact her battalion chaplain, maybe see if you can get in touch with the Ft Riley behavioral health, or even yours to see what they can recommend. /:

17
astrowerOP•

The other post said similar, I will do this.

5
LiberDeOpp•

If you didn't say SPC I would swear you were my wife (except she's active chair force).

1
The_CaptainMorgan25U•

heh, I'm Chair National Guard. lmao

2
hatsondesks•

National Chard.

5
The_CaptainMorgan25U•

it me

3
LiberDeOpp•

Real talk, is there a faster way to get through the skillport/skillsoft certifications? I can't stand these videos...

-2
EMartinez8612A•

Know the unit? Sweet. Call Staff Duty and ask for the BN Chaplains number. Quickest way to find it is to use the main page and the drop down unit tab - http://www.riley.army.mil/ - which will toss you a BDE/BN staff duty number.

Don't know the unit? That's cool too, call the post Emergency God rep....Chaplain @ (785) 239-HELP (4357).

Don't like chaplains? That's cool as well, I don't usually. But they are switchboards for finding resources with the quickness.

11
astrowerOP•

Yes I know the unit, thank you I will use this.

3
JEEPFAN123•

Why don't you like chaplains?

1
EMartinez8612A•

Some are overly preachy, others are regular dudes who are spiritual as can be who I would have a beer with. Their spiritualness more than makes up for my lack, without making me feel they are holier than though.

5
JEEPFAN123•

That makes sense.

1
freedembonerFTNFL•

Chaplain 24/7 Help line - (785)239-4357

Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255)

4
astrowerOP•

Perfect thank you

1
Nathanel1315QTPie•

I'm at Fort Riley.

Depending on what unit she is in I might know the Chaplain. I personally know a lot of the Behavior Health, Counselors, MFLC's, and other assorted people for these situations due to personal situations. If you want me to try and help you can shoot me a PM and I can try and do damage control for you and make sure she doesn't off herself.

edit: Are you a civilian? Please, please, be careful with who you call and tell about this. I'm not saying don't get her help, but the Army has an awesome way of making a shitty situation suck even more. If she doesn't want help or won't admit it there is not much you can do to be honest. Yes the Chaplain will ask, or whoever else, but it is very easy to look ol chap in the eye and lie through your teeth that "everything is good, hooah". She needs to want help or the people in charge of her need something concrete to force her to get help.

3
astrowerOP•

Thank you for the offer, I will consider it. And yeah, that is why I'm trying to get her to get help herself, I know anything I do could only make things worse. She really believes any attenpt to get help with end everything army for her.

1
Nathanel1315QTPie•

Exact mindset I had when I was PV2 all the way up to SPC. Didn't want to go to sick call and look like a shitbag, didn't want to go to any of the programs because I didn't want to seem like a shammer. It takes time.

1
fezha68W SPC•

Fort Riley? No wonder...

Talk to the MFLC, wonderful people.

2
Amerisjsu•

Damn chaplain seem like bosses

1
ArthurSeanzarelli•

If she's in the same unit as me, I can understand why she's depressed. But seriously, I would have to agree with the other person from Ft. Riley who commented. I'm at Ft. Riley as well and the people I've dealt with at the clinic were friendly and real helpful. It may be difficult to get her to go willingly to behavioral health because of the stigma associated with it, but hopefully her leaders are like mine and encourage their soldiers to seek help when needed (mine have been great in that regard. They damn near forced me to make my initial appointment and there were no repercussions).
The Chaplain may be a better option if she won't seek the help herself, but as my fellow BRO mentioned, calling up numbers and telling people you think your fiance is suicidal may open another can of worms. Maybe try and get in contact with her battalion's Chaplain and ask him to reach out to her because she feels alone with no one to talk to. Either option would be a good start. I hope she gets the help she needs.

1
astrowerOP•

Yeah I'm not looking to contact anyone unless I believe she is actually about to hurt herself. Thank you for all your insight.

1
chris0720•

Buy her some new tits. It worked for Mat Best

1
Rommelsfoot•

Go on blackpeoplemeet and give a guy your address boom, expect neglect from her

0
HighSpeedPFC•

Contact SPC Jodie Johnson. He's there just for situations like this.

-24
astrowerOP•

Thank you.

5
yeaitsmeagain•

Ya don't do that.

13
Snavery9335FML•

What the fuck man, time and place for everything, and this ain't it.

3