(f) Confessions of a Heretic: Part III
My dearest Jade,
I received your astropathic communication, and am delighted you have had such a fine time with your purge of Insubria IV; such a wonderfully efficient cleansing reflects just as well on the mentor as it does on the perpetrator, after all! I, as well as Lord Nicholls, find your conclusions that there is a larger network of roots of the poisoned source present within the sub sector both sound and intriguing. Certainly it would explain several phenomenon over the last decade that had the ghost of a pattern to them, but nothing definite enough to demand acting on any such suspicions; however, as both Lord Nicholls and I are currently engaged in a rather delicate matter that requires a very watchful eye and steady hand, we can unfortunately offer you no material aid in your continued investigation at this point in time. That is not to say your astropathic communication has yielded no results, as I am gladly able to assist you in your other request. I do not find it surprising that the Inquisitorial library in the Insubrian System only have the less salacious of the Egistarum Confessions on hand. If my memory serves, there was a certain incident before your time involving criminally lax book-keeping that allowed non inquisitors access to material restricted to the inquisitor only level, and even material restricted to inquisitors of a specific Ordo! No wonder, then, that they have not been trusted with much material that is clearly of the heretical bent since. Please find attached a copy of the parts of Egistarum Confessions that you asked after, with the compliments of both myself and Lord Nicholls. If you are correct in your assessment of the situation at hand in the Insubrian System, then I trust you will find it most helpful in uncovering nests of villainy. I must say, as an aside, that it is very flattering that you remembered so well an off-hand comment about the usefulness of the Confessions all those years ago. May they be as much aid to you now as they were to myself, and my Master before me, all those years ago. Happy hunting, Inquisitor!
P.S. You have been an Inquisitor for several years now, Jade, please do dispense with that Inquisitor Institoris business; You may call me Heinrich- or Inquisitor von Kramer, if you must be formal about it.
Yours, in Eternal Faith to the Immortal God Emperor,
A proud teacher,
Heinrich von Kramer
I am a disloyal man.
There is a question that I have been asked countless times in various forms. Again and again I have lied when answering it. To ask the question betrays an ignorance of the true nature of the Ruinous Powers.
"What can I do, Apostle Ictar, to better serve Slaanesh?"
"How may I please Father Nurgle, preacher?"
"Magister, whose skull does Khorne desire me to lay at His feet?"
"Which plots does the Changer of the Ways wish me to realise, Pater Therian?"
A man or woman who asks of me an iteration of that question marks themselves as unenlightened. Many I lie to. They are not ready for the truth. I pour honeyed false truths into their ears and send them on their way. Sometimes they succeed in their illusory tasks, sometimes they fail. It matters not to me. Either way, they serve the Ruinous Powers. A few I have killed. Over the years one learns to pick the informants, the cowards, the ones who lack the moral conviction to see things through to the end
A select few, I answer. Those I can see are ready for the truth, who know the true nature of things but are incapable of verbalising it yet. It is not my role to illuminate the ignorant. Indeed, an apostle who preaches solely for that purpose is an example of the blind leading the blind.
Chaos is conflict. Chaos is. It requires no justification, no explanation. It simply is, was and will always be. This is the part so many struggle with. Once they take their first step on the path to knowledge, they falter. They learn of the Chaos Gods. Of seemingly sentient beings that coalesce in the Warp and have readily identifiable personalities. I was no different. Of course, when I learned of them, I was loyal, but that's irrelevant.
When a human learns of the Chaos Gods in this way, they naturally think of organised religion. Maybe it's due to the all-pervasive worship of the Emperor. Maybe it's just our inherent nature. Again, this is irrelevant. What is relevant is that that way of thinking fundamentally misunderstands what Chaos is. The Gods are not omnipotent humans you build temples to and make sacrifices to. They care not a whit for conscious worship.
The Chaos Gods are conflict. In its purest form. Khorne is literal conflict. Nurgle the conflict between life and death. Slaanesh pain and pleasure, excess and deprivation. Tzeentch change and stagnation. The distinction that so many fail to grasp is that these are not beings that take delight or pleasure in certain aspects of conflict. The Gods are that conflict.
To ascend to Daemonhood is no glittering prize to be bestowed for services rendered. Rather, like the Chaos Gods themselves, it is simply a reflection of reality. When one, whether knowingly or unknowingly, surrenders themselves completely to conflict and comes to be an avatar of it, no champion but a representation, then they have walked the path to the end. One must not seek to be the greatest warrior to become a Daemon of Khorne, but rather become an aspect of war itself. For Nurgle, to become life and death in equal parts, Slaanesh pain and pleasure, Tzeentch change personified.
I can hear your protestations now if you do not see the truth as I do. Even you who are well-read on the topic at hand, and free of the ignorance that the Imperium desperately tries to shield its citizens with. You know of the Gods, you know They are sentient! You may even know of cases where individuals have treated with those Gods as a customer would treat with a shopkeeper. How could They be as I say They are, in that case? Surely the very fact that They have sentience, act and think and communicate like you or I proves that They are not as I say they are. That They are ominpotent human-like beings. You have mistaken a reflection of the stars in a polluted puddle for the night sky.
I will use the metaphor of the human brain. We are ultimately chemicals. Atoms. Sub-atomic particles. We are nothing more. When a human feels love, really all that is happening is that they have reacted to sensory input and a chemical release has occurred as a result. Though that feeling of love is oh so real, so tangible that one could be forgiven a thousand times over for thinking that it is something more than a chemical release in the brain, that does not change what it is. Love is a chemical. The Ruinous Powers are conflict. They are nothing more.
One does not serve Chaos. One embraces it, becomes it.
I am a deceptive man.
I had fallen. Years ago. Then I had discovered truth. The only truth that Chaos can ever confidently give, the only strand of clarity I could find in the tumbled knot of half truths and half lies that is the philosophy of the Ruinous Powers. A whisper across a thousand worlds, a mighty chant across a thousand more. Power demands sacrifice. It called to me. How could it not? Every disciple of the Gods has sacrificed unimaginably. Their immortal soul for Chaos. For conflict. Even those who do not yet know the full truth of things, like I did.
I am a patient man.
Heresy is a difficult crop to grow. I made many mistakes in learning how to cultivate it. Thankfully I was always lucky enough that those mistakes never caught up with me.
Heresy is a thirsty crop. It must be watered generously. I was no noble scion flush with extorted taxes and inherited riches to lavish on my task. But always I found the need to bribe, to gift, even to pay legitimate business for services rendered. It is no coincidence that organised crime and Heresy often fit hand in glove. Many of my contemporaries sing the praises of criminal empires. No better way to lever the fanatical devotion of fellow heretics to further feed the cancer cells growing inside a loyal society, in their opinion. I disagree. I always have. The risks do not outweigh the reward. Rival criminal gangs are all too keen to inform on the opposition. Not only do they eliminate their competitors, but frequently gain immunity if their information leads to tangible results in the war against the Heretic. Not to mention the chance of being caught as a natural consequence of committing crimes in and of-itself.
I relied, initially, on donations. From the rich, from the poor. Legitimate business enterprises. They were too unreliable. Ironically enough, in my early career, I feared the debtor's gaol more than the Inquisition or the Arbites. My greatest accomplishment grew out of this desperation for funds. My arguments against engaging in criminal enterprises always were simple ones of risks not outweighing rewards. I came to think of ways in which the reward could be weighted so heavily that it tilted the scales in its favour. The answer was to somehow make money through organised crime while also converting, and doing so quickly and efficiently.
I had heard of similar efforts to what I struck on, indeed of successful ones. They were my inspiration. To my knowledge, however, I was the first to devise a system completely self-contained. One that only needed one or two instigators with limited technical skills or connections to successfully grow an incredibly profitable business whilst also making new converts at a rapid rate. Bellum se ipsum alet.
Illicit narcotics (indeed, any substance that is consumed in large quantities and is merchantable will do. Narcotics are simply the most profitable. If at all possible, using the same method on foodstuffs or water would be even more effective.) would be exposed to warp-taint. There is no need to overdo this aspect of it. A taste of madness is enough to serve the purpose, whilst also being harder to detect and easier to produce. A cursed artifact, a simple series of rituals, nothing more. Not only does one create a substance even more addictive than the base narcotic, but the conversion process is nearly perfect. The warp-taint does the preaching for you. As addiction breaks down the body and mind, the mental barriers constructed by the Imperium to control its citizens fall. A broken addict has already seen the truth, all they need to do is realise it. At this point, however, there is no preacher giving underground sermons, no blasphemous texts in circulation. By the time the interested authorities catch on it will be all too late. Even if, ultimately, a potential chaos insurrection is suppressed, the very nature of Chaos means that the entire process feeds the Gods. Where the scheme is unsuccessful, the perpetrators can simply move on and start all over again.
Skilled practitioners of this method will hide themselves so as to be nearly undetectable. Duping existing narcotic distribution enterprises in employing the faithful is a favourite of mine. Other ways include more traditional means of seeking powerful men and women sympathetic to the cause, or simply bored enough to Damn themselves.
Part I of the Egistarum Confessions may be found here
Part II of the Egistarum Confessions may be found here
Part IV of the Egistarum Confessions may be found here
Part V of the Egistarum Confessions may be found here
Posted Apr 14, 2017, 7:53 PM UTC · edited