Is it possible to NOT be stealth?

So, forgive this #privileged post, but I have an interesting experience to share and am kind of looking for thoughts and feedback about how you all see yourselves. This is really about trying to avoid the stress of being stealth while also passing?

The moment I decided to transition I came out to basically everyone I spoke to. I didn't want anyone to know before anyone else because my family loves using information like weapons and I knew the stress would kill me.

Fastforward to this past Monday and I'm in a PromptCare because stress has done so much damage to my immune system that I got a virus that's destroying my skin.

How did we get here? I told everyone. There was no outing me. How can you out what is not stealth?

I think I failed to appreciate the scope of the situation. See, I failed to realize that no matter how many people I told, I'd still meet new people. And unless you're of the persuasion to announce your status as trans to every new person you meet, you're going to eventually slide into being stealth. You're going to start having a circle of people that don't know. And if you've been living full time, you're probably not going to think much of it. That is, until there is a threat of being misgendered by bigoted former acquaintances.

Or, what if you have to out yourself? This was the situation I ended up in this past Monday. The nurse looks me up and down, weight, height, taking pressure, etc, then grabs her notepad and asks me when my last menstrual cycle was. I had no makeup, looking like shit, and expected to have been clocked long ago. Completely taken aback, I trip over my words a bit but reply, "I, I'm transgender. I don't have one. Sorry." Why I felt compelled to apologize for this I could not tell you... We've all heard of TBAS (trans broken arm syndrome) and I was very concerned about dealing with bigotry or just general ignorance and here's the moment of truth. She looks at me, very surprised, and says, "Whaaat? You look good." Then proceeds to look me up and down for what was probably only a few seconds but felt like an eternity. Then says, "Looking good. I'd have never known if you didn't say something." So, on the bright side, even at my most rundown even medical staff can't clock me, but obviously there's tons of other problems with that exchange that I don't need mention. You all know and I'm sure plenty have had this exact same scenario. I'll spare you.

But what happened? I passed in this instance, clearly. But then had to out myself for medical reasons. So I've slipped into pseudo-stealth position where being trans is not clear to anyone but those already informed? I didn't want me being trans to be a secret, but I also don't want to be outed for safety reasons. When new people come along, do I have a responsibility to tell them? Will it be less stressful if I do/don't? These are the thoughts I've been pondering and questioning over the last couple of days. I hope this has been remotely interesting to read and that, if you've made it this far, you'll weigh in. Thanks for your time either way! I've found writing stuff like this has been the most helpful thing to do through transition. Highly recommend just writing your stuff out if you've got something on your mind.