Do they make laptops like (older) volkswagens?

My full size desktop is inconvenient, and I'd like to move to something more portable. I've never used a single laptop I liked. The cost/ performance ratio never feels good, trackpads are garbage, broken parts are a pain to replace, and the heat/ noise are a colossal hassle.

After fishtailing my 07 Rabbit into a guardrail, I had to get a new car. I was disappointed, because the Volkswagen:

• Ran 280,000 miles without a single mechanical or electrical failure, even though I drove the crap out of it (durability/ reliability)
• Had an excellent interior/ stereo/ design for the cost (great value, user friendly)
• Could do 130 even though it was essentially a boring ol' hatchback (great performance)
• Handled very well even with a crappy rear suspension (excellent tactile control)

Do they make laptops like Rabbits? Are they under $1000? My research so far has lead me to believe that every affordable gaming laptop is loud, hot, heavy, and unreliable. And every "performance" laptop for adults is $2,000.

There has to be a middle ground.