Have not been active lately due to the death of a DEAR friend...

In June, we decided to go to treatment together. He was on heroin, I was on everything else but heroin. Subs(16mg RX), Roxie's, Adderall(60 mg IR RX), Xanax (2mg RX), Klonopin (2mg RX), Ambien (25mg RX) and Cocaine. Everythin daily. Anyway this isn't about me... after treatment I got off of and have since managed to stay off of all pharmecutical drugs, cocaine and booze. Kratom and cannabis are the only things I put in my body. I was in really bad shape mentally and suicidal. It takes much longer to get over a 10 year Suboxone/benzo/adderall habit than a heroin kick. He was in pretty good mental health, and I was not... I discovered Kratom and it changed my life. I never wanted to tell him about Kratom because he was doing SO well. We just celebrated 9 months sober the 30th of March. Anyways, he started getting pretty uncomfortable at his new job and really stressed out. Decided to get high one time and accidentally killed himself. I wish I would have told him about Kratom. I am 100% certain he would still be alive right now. I just didn't want to mess up a seemingly good thing, and he was doing incredible. Back In shape, new job, meetings 5 days a week, sometimes 7. Very active in outside meeting functions. Sponsoring a few kids... last October I was having problems with the Mrs. and he was the only thing that kept me from a relapse. He talked me out of it for about 2 hours, reminding me of all the good things I had going for me, and he literally said "imagine if you died, trying to get high one time, you don't have a tolerance like you used to, what would your daughter think?"... then he died the same way... boy oh boy this is rough. I am a business owner and my companies are doing very well and run remotely, so I've Been isolating very badly. I feel so terrrible, and I don't tell people in meetings about Kratom. So I really have no one to talk to about this except my wife, who has the least addictive personality on this planet. She gets it but she doesn't get it. I feel so guilty. I could have saved him, but I didn't . I know it is a situation far beyond my control. I'm just really upset and need to vent, thanks for listening...

Edit: my last conversation w him was showing him a song by NOFX called "I'm so sorry tony" about the singer of No Use For a Name who died of an Opiate overdose https://imgur.com/a/rZOz1