Stood up to my Sociopath Husband, Feeling almost "good" :D (another long one)

My sociopath husband is moving out of our shared apartment.

Yesterday he took possession of his new apartment. He brought a number of things there. Just before that we discussed furniture/appliance division and he said he agreed with everything. I have his agreement in writing (just to avoid "miscommunication" cough cough).

We didn't talk about when he would be taking his things. I was prepared for any day but I was kind of expecting the weekend. I thought he might want friends to help move the heavy stuff.

I'm a night owl. I stay up all night and I sleep in the morning and early afternoon. I went to sleep at 5am. At 6am he started banging pans in our kitchen. I mean...he was sitting in the middle of the floor banging them. I waited 5 minutes (I checked my phone clock) and then went out to ask what he was doing. He said "I just wanted to see how long it would take for you to come out." I bit my tongue and walked out and sat back in bed.

At this point I'd had about 1 hour's sleep in 24 for other reasons. I couldn't sleep after that though. He left at 7am. He didn't say anything to me (no update on plans, whatnot). This is a little funny because as part of passive-aggressive dick behavior he says "goodbye" to me every day before he goes to work because he knows I hate him. He says he's being "polite". Anyway, today he was silent.

At 8am I asked my adult son to come over because I was concerned he was going to do something else weird. I assured my son nothing had happened and there'd been no threats, but I was having a panic attack and I wanted him to come over. He agreed and was here to be supportive.

At around 10am my husband rolls up in a moving truck, opens our garage from the outside, and started loading the truck. I didn't realize this was him because we live in attached rental apartments (a row of duplexes) and our neighbors are also moving. It "sounded" like it could be them. After about an hour I kind of thought "Huh...I thought the neighbors were done a few days ago...what's taking them so long." I'll admit it. I'm a crazy cat lady and I also peer out my curtains to watch my neighbors now and then. I looked outside and saw my husband stealth-loading a van.

I felt really freaked out but I just bit my tongue (again) and and waited inside. I resolved to just let him take the stuff and go. I didn't think he'd come in the house because he would have expected me to be asleep.

Then he walked in and didn't knock. He looked really surprised to see me and my son sitting there watching TV. It was just too much. Again, only 1 hour of sleep in what's now like 28-29 hours of time.

So I told him he had to leave and come back another day when I'd had some sleep. I didn't have any legal grounds for this (and he pointed this out and I acknowledged it) but I said he'd harassed me earlier in the day and this was further harassment. He'd very obviously timed things so he could expect me to be asleep and sneak everything out. He'd tried to guarantee it by waking me up. I don't think he expected it to backfire and keep me awake.

He'd also already done this once already. While I was asleep he packed some of "my" valuables and hid them somewhere. I still haven't gotten them back. So I had a rational, not-paranoid reason for supervising him removing items.

There was a bunch of accusations and yelling. Lots of JADE comments from him. I was angry and vocal but I didn't allow the topic to shift. I stayed on point. Not as good as grey-rocking but I was too stressed from the lack of sleep to stay quiet.

He then said he'd come back sometime in the next few days. I said "No. You're going to comunicate with me beforehand and you're not going to come back to get your things until you recieve a confirmation from me that I agree with the day and time" (he has a habit of sending emails at weird times when he knows I'll be asleep and say it's not his "fault" I didn't read them). Lots more screaming and yelling from both of us. Eventually, he just turned on his heel and walked out, refusing to agree to verify the time with me. I know I don't have legal grounds for demanding he come on my schedule, but I do have legal grounds for making sure he only takes his stuff and that I'll be awake for it.

When he walked out I decided to make an appointment for a locksmith to change the locks (it'll be later today my time).

I checked my email and he told me the day and time he'll be retuning with the truck and I responded it was acceptable. It's a stupid victory but it still feels good. How sad is it that scheduling a time to remove furniture from a home results in an hour-long screaming match?

Note: My son is staying at least to Monday so I have someone else here. We (my son and I) talked about the fight he heard, he said he could understand the innocuous comments that my husband was making that were low-grade threats. Double-win.