Best ways to reflect on the past?

Hey guys! Not sure if this is the correct reddit to use, but figured I could find some help here. I am currently reading Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" and really pondering over the ego. I have suffered from clinical depression for 5 years now and have had social anxiety my whole life, but now that I am meditating and trying everything possible to work towards peace...I have trouble with the past. In Tolle's book he mentions how things in the past need to be put aside, as they reinforce the ego and your personal 'story'. These things keep you out of the present.

Now my problem is if I ever get to the point where I am comfortable with truly opening up to somebody in some safe space, how am I to regard and reflect on my past? I find talking about things in a therapy setting are helpful, but that seems to go against the writings of Tolle about shrinking the ego. So thinking back on my past and remembering things that may have got me here is self-defeating, and talking about them with a therapist may be helpful, but doing so keeps the past alive. Just curious on your thoughts or what practices in meditation you have used to deal with similar stuff. Thanks :)