how to address [awkward sex] with new girl?

I (27m) been dating this girl (22) for about a month (let's call her Jane). She lives about an hour away so I only really only get to see her once or twice a week. We've had sex a few times and there are a few things going on that make it fairly awkward.

First of all - I'm not particularly sexually experienced. So if there's something that strikes you as obvious here, it may not have occurred to me so speak up! I've been in one long term relationship in the past and our sex life was pretty abysmal really. Part of it could have been my personal hangups about sex, but she also kinda let herself go and I stopped being sexually attracted to her (hence why we are no longer together). I have no idea what Jane's sexual history is but I get the sense that she is somewhat inexperienced as well. We're both sort of shy / anxious / nervous types and could probably benefit from more communication.

Problems on my end: I have always had problems with coming really fast once penetration starts (like less than a minute usually) and this resurfaced last weekend. She's very nice about it but it still embarrasses me and I want penetration to last longer anyway because I really enjoy it. I've been doing some "independent study" trying to work on edging, relaxing, and focusing on breathing so I don't get so worked up. But I struggle with anxiety in general (especially surrounding sex) and in the heat of the moment I think I tense up quite a bit and worry about performance, and then I just blow it. I think it would help a lot to go for a second round but that brings up the other issue.

Problems on her end: I've noticed that she is really difficult to penetrate, even when I am really hard and she is fairly wet. Usually we start with kissing/petting then go down on each other. After that we'll usually try PIV and it's always really difficult... I try to penetrate her and fail and it makes things awkward and I kinda go soft and then we have to regroup. She usually has to get on top and guide it in slowly but I'd like to be able to be able to put it in her once in awhile. We eventually get it figured out, but I don't know if we need more foreplay or if that's just how she is. Maybe pick up some lube? In any case when we tried to go for round two the other night it was nothin-doin. It was like trying to penetrate a clam shell. Maybe she wasn't turned on enough but she seemed fairly wet, I don't know... She told me "I'm too nice" and that I can push harder, but my dick isn't made of steel FFS!

On another note after I offered to "finish her" the other night she said that she came when I went down on her (something I'm became fairly good at to compensate for my lack of stamina) but she is either really quiet/shy about it or not actually coming. I sort of wonder if she's just being nice. But if she is actually coming before we have sex could that affect how "tight" she is? Maybe I should just get her warmed up a little instead of going all out.

All in all I get the sense that maybe both of us are trying a little too hard and rushing things. Maybe we just need to relax and take our time a little more. I want to talk to her about this but don't know where to start...

I really like this girl and I want us to have awesome mind-blowing sex, not awkward, lame, embarrassing sex.

Help a brotha out!