My mum is buying all the stuffs :(

Guys, I am so sorry if this sounds whiny and ungrateful but I don't know what to do :(

This is our first baby, first grandbaby for either side. My hubby and I have had a god awful year which includes a genuine near death experience for him and two threatened miscarriages for me.

I have one friend who has said she is going to throw a shower but if I'm honest I'm not a huge fan and I really don't mind if it's more a girly dinner than a baby shower.

We are also completely estranged from my hubby's family and not only have they not made any noises about contributing we would probably not feel comfortable accepting if they did.

So. The issue. The one that makes me sound like a horrid person.

My mum is buying everything. Seriously. All the big ticket items she is buying. I've said to hold off because we're probably moving in July / August and I don't want to move stuff twice, but she is justifying it by keeping it at her house so I don't have to store it or move it. Nothing she is buying is second hand or in any way low price spec. Literally top quality stuff and high prices. So I know I should be grateful and it is saving us a load of money but I feel like she is taking over something that should be special for me and my hubby and something that we want to be able to sort ourselves.

So far (emphasis on that as the list grows EVERY TIME I SPEAK TO HER) she has purchased with very little to no input:

• cot bed
• cot bed matress
• cot bed bedding
• high chair
• nursery furniture
• pram system
• car seat
• isofix base
• a range of clothes INCLUDING potential outfits for a wedding we are going to about a week after due date (unless I haven't popped)
• a johnsons set with all the baby bath stuff (lotion, shampoo, wipes etc)

And today:

• a crib mattress
• crib bedding
• bumper

The only thing I have bought it as second hand crib from a friend of ours to use when bub is born, I wasn't going to get other stuff until post move or even post birth. The crib cost me £20. She literally sepnt 4x that on crib accessories. All of which is stuff I said I would sort when we had moved so I didn't have to move with it.

I know she is excited, I know she wants to help, I know she is over compensating because there will only be one set of grandparents. But I want us to be able to do this. My husband is military and away a lot, when he comes home there is either more stuff in our house or more stuff in theirs. He twigged it wasn't me doing it and feels super left out. He said no more buying until third trimester and she hasn't listened.

I don't want to upset her but I also think this is way too much :(

Please please please do any of you have any advice on how I can nicely ask her to back off? My dad has so far failed to manage it, even though he thinks it is horrible bad luck to buy anything for a baby before it is born. I really don't want to seem ungrateful, but I also want to do lots of this with my husband.