Me [19 M] am thinking of getting back with my EX-GF [20 F] of 2 years. Believe that she is sorry and can change after doing some very toxic things.

It's been about 3 months that I broke up with my Ex. I have these phases where I just can't stop thinking of getting back with her and I'm starting to think that this must be a sign and am beginning to realise what I am losing.

The reason I broke up with her is because I felt that it was toxic for both of us.

I) She went to go see this guy behind my back (who I knew was a bit of a player and that she previously had a crush on (also who was a family friend). This guy who I had never met, added me on facebook and just sent me a photo of her with his thumbs up and then unfriended me.

II) I caught her texting him multiple times (4 times in all) behind my back even after that happened and met up with him with her friend once we broke up. (not flirty or anything from what I saw)

III) She always put my friends down, and was quite pretentious.

IV) she was on tinder texting +10 dudes super flirty when I was next to her (technically we were not together but we started seeing each other again and were just coming out of a break after having a relationship for a year and a half) and she was texting them while I was out with her (never saw any of the guys 100% sure)

V) She went clubbing a lot with her girlfriends and knew a lot of promoters.

VI) I caught her in lies multiple times.

VII) Hacked My facebook and looked at my phone messages

Thing was I broke up with her then and then once we got back together I can tell that she was putting a lot of effort by learning from her mistakes and not doing what she did previously. However, I just could not give myself 100 % to the relationship because I was not over the things that she had done. Thus, I ended it again. The moment I ended it she went straight back on tinder and danced with guys in front of my best mates and added those guys on facebook (when they were on vacation together we have the same friend group)

I know that all I am saying are negative things, but yea she can be an amazing girlfriend when she wants too. She can be super sweet and sometimes I feel as if perhaps I made her jealous making her do those things to deal with jealousy. I am far from perfect I will admit but doing the things I mentioned above would never ever cross my mind. Every time I see her though I have these strong feelings of anger, anxiety, frustration for the things that she had done within our relationship. Last Friday out of coincidence we ended up going to the same club and I just was on edge during the whole night, I was looking forward the whole week to this event. I hated that she was having fun, I hated that she was surrounded by guys, I hated that she was there.

I'm not saying that I am a perfect boyfriend either, ofcourse I have made some mistakes but nowhere near any of the toxic things that she had done.

I fought the need to contact her after that night but out of the blue, she calls me the night after wanting to check up on me and talking about how much of a coincidence it was that we were at the same club. She then texts me the day after saying that she is happy that 'we are on good terms..'

The truth is at that point I wanted to say fuck no we are not, I don't forgive half the shit you did and I doubt I ever will. Although that was the way I felt and still feel I couldn't get myself to say it.

I resent the possibility that she is getting with other guys, I resent the possibility that she is doing all those things which she said were stupid when we were together.

I just do not know what to do... Should I write her a message saying that I forgive her for everything that she had done, will that make me feel better? Should I talk to her and get closure for the things that happened between us? She completely shot up my self-confidence and trust; she was manipulative.

I didn't break up with her because I didn't love her, I broke up because I loved myself too much to let her hurt me anymore.

She has been trying to get into contact with me with random messages.

I wan't to get back with her but want some honest objective advice.

I really do love this girl, i've known her while growing up back home and even went to uni in the same city (currently).

Thanks for the help :)

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tl;dr: Was in a very toxic relationship with an ex , decided to end it. Looking back perhaps she can change and tried to change, However, couldn't get over the things she had done. Should I give it another shot?