Maybe not the right place for this...

This may not be the right subreddit but I don't know where else to post this.

I've been with her for just over a year now and we're engaged. We broke up in February and got back together within the week, she initiated that one and was the one who came back to me, I was ready to move on. At the time she was the only person who had made me feel loved or worthwhile and so I took her back without a second thought.

When we were apart I decided it was over and I may as well move on and even though there was a lot of pain I was actually happy and felt truer to myself than I'd ever been. She came back though and I was so happy to have that love again that I think I went over board and proposed to her just under a month ago...

Now I'm not sure if I really do love her. I found out I could be happy without her and realizing I don't rely on her for that is making me question if I do love her. If I keep going with this I know what my future is like, a job I hate (probably doing mortgage loans), we'll get a house and have kids and I'll work and she'll stay at home, that's what we've always talked about but I don't want that.

We're both really really young and have grown up in a culture where you get married young but I really don't think I'm ready for that. I do want to experience more of life, I want to follow my dream and not be an office worker but I don't want to break her heart.

Ever since coming back she's been so attached and saying things like she's worried we won't make it to our wedding and how much she needs me and it just makes me more confused all the time. I really don't want to hurt her but I want to do what's best for me... but if this is a good thing and I'll regret it I don't wanna just break it off.

Sorry for the long post and I hope this is an ok place to put it... I'm just confused and it hurts every time she talks about the future or says how much she loves me because I don't know if that's what I want anymore.

TL;DR I'm engaged and don't know if it's what I want. I don't want to hurt her but I want what's best for me.