Relapsed after 1.5 years and I'm kinda glad I did

I've gone without fapping for 1 year, 6 months and 15 days. I've been using an "awareness technique" where I don't try to resist or chase away the urge to fap. Instead, I make myself aware of the urge, I acknowledge the urge and realize that while I do feel the urge I don't have to act on it. This video helped me realize this.

I relapsed on 25/04/2017 and 26/04/2017 twice and once respectively. I forgot what it felt like to fap and I convinced myself to try it one more time to "see how it feels". Of course I didn't want to give 1.5 years of "hard work" up so easily so I ran to Google with the search term "masturbation is healthy" to justify my actions; and that's exactly what I did.

I'm glad I relapsed though because now I know for sure I want to stop fapping again and this time for good. This is what I've noticed:

1. No matter how much I try to justify the act with articles about how healthy fapping is, I always feel bad when I'm done. You guys know the feeling.

2. I become less sociable and less confident in myself.

3. I become less willing to approach and pursue women. I think this is because I know pleasure is a mere fap away and I don't actually have to put myself out there or put any effort into finding a mate to have a pleasurable experience with(which doesn't always have to include sex or sexual things).

4. It was alarming how quickly I got myself to orgasm. I'd been masturbating daily for almost everyday since I was 14(now 27) - this is besides the many attempts at stopping that would last a few weeks. As a result, I've trained myself for speed, so much so that I can orgasm in 30 seconds if I wanted to. That's not going to be a good thing if I want a healthy, vibrant and fair sexual relationship with a woman.

5. Masturbation doesn't help you "explore" your body as much as they say it does but it does helps you exploit your sexuality and body much more than they tell you. Honesty, after 13+ years of masturbation and "getting to know my body" there shouldn't be anything unknown. It's time to stop, for good this time.

edit: for grammar