The Sea Similized to Meadows and Pastures: the Mariners, to Shepherds: the Mast, to a May-Pole: the Fish, to Beasts (an exhibition of 491 years of art)
The sharks entombed in meadows gnash at ropes
that lash the canopy of verdant copse
to a crow's nest. The glint of telescope
and laser sight, a buckling's third eye glows
in viölet reflection: the masthead knows
what tattooed rags it bears; the undergrowth
is splitting into thumbs. As gold it blows
through silt and stone, as seaweed and as rose,
enwrapts the rotting limer's catch and tows
the sailors home. And blows the sailors home.
The painter marvels at his work and shows
them places black'd bodies no longer go.
Posted Apr 28, 2017, 6:56 AM UTC
56
Solid work as always, damonstrator. Two mechanics that leave me scratching my head:
The rhyme scheme seems to either be a complicated little collection of perfect end rhymes, similar to but not identical to a petrarchan rhyming pattern, or it's a near-perfect execution of a series of slant-rhymes arranged in a monorhyme pattern. Not sure which is the intention. Maybe it's not an either/or but a both/and.
The other one is the umlaut added to the word "violet", creating the nonce-word "viölet". It's not immediately clear whether this is intended to add a visual element or a sonic element to the word. Again, maybe it's both/and.
Other than those two, it's a unique little not-quite-a-sonnet piece, and enjoyable to read.
Thx. I'm not sure exactly what happened with the rhyme. The piece it's based on is in rhymed couplets, which I started with but could not get off that one sound. And I meant the umlaut to signal violets having three syllables
[deleted]
It has the same title minus the parenthetical. By Cavendish.
[deleted]